~Chapter One - Where You Wanted to Be~

 

Darren clutched the steering wheel of his mother’s car tightly. His knuckles were turning white, but that didn’t make him relax. Butterflies were jumping around in his stomach, and he felt like he was going to be sick. I don’t even get this nervous before a concert, Darren thought with a wry grimace. Well, this is a bit different than a concert, isn’t it? asked the cynical voice in the back of his head. Darren shook his head vigorously to clear it. It was already hard to concentrate on the road. He didn’t need the added distraction of an argument playing out in his head. The thoughts wouldn’t go away so easily, though, so it was with great relief that Darren saw the familiar streets of his destination.

Parking a block away from his final destination, Darren yet again waged an internal battle with himself. He honestly didn’t want to get out of the car. This was going to be hard at best, and most likely incredibly painful. Was it really worth it? Yes, he told himself firmly. You know it is. Now get out of the car. It’s not a big deal; you’re just going to visit your old friend Daniel Jones. No need to be nervous. “Ha!” Darren said aloud. “Plenty of reason to be nervous. He’s probably going to slam the door the moment he sees my face.”

Well, are you going to argue that you don’t deserve it?

“No, but it’s not like it’s all my fault,” he argued. “Daniel isn’t a completely innocent party in this.”

True, but he’s not the one who cut all the ties. You are. So it’s up to you to fix it.

“I know that,” Darren responded. “It’s why I’m here.”

So are you going to get out of the car or not?

“I’m going, I’m going!” Darren said, unlocking the door and shoving it open. As he stepped outside, the ludicrousness of the situation hit him suddenly, and he laughed a little hysterically. Here he was, having an actual verbal argument with himself. This meeting with Daniel was obviously throwing him off more than he had thought.

“Darren Hayes,” he muttered softly, “You have officially gone nutters. Oh, well, here goes nothing.”

With that, Darren set off at a brisk pace down to Daniel’s door. The pace faltered slightly as Daniel’s house came into view. Darren bit his lower lip tightly and forced himself to keep walking. It had taken him a year to get to this point, but now that he was here, he didn’t want to back down. The pounding in his heart got louder and louder as Darren walked up the sidewalk. With shaking hands, he pressed the doorbell and steeled himself to wait. After a few moments, the happy thought that Daniel wasn’t home crossed his mind. He was about to turn and leave when he heard noises from inside. Darren froze as the door was pulled open and he was face to face with Daniel once again.

Daniel’s green eyes widened considerably as he took in the person on his doorstep.

“Darren?” he asked in disbelief.

“Hi, Daniel,” Darren answered. Daniel blinked a few times, clearly confused.

“Darren, what are you doing here?” He asked.

“Um,” Darren shifted uncomfortably. The spring air had a bite to it, and the cold didn’t help the singer feel any more at ease. “Well, I had a few days off touring, which I’m sure you knew, and um, I decided to use them to come see you.”

If anything, Daniel looked even more confused.

“To come see me?” He echoed.

“Yeah,” Darren said. The confusion on Daniel’s face was more than slightly painful, a reminder of the time they’d spent estranged. “Look, I’m sorry. You’re probably busy. I should have called first, or something. I can go. It’s not a big deal.”

“No, no,” Daniel said quickly, unsure why he wasn’t ready for Darren to stay but unable to let him just walk away, either. “It’s ok. Would you like to come in?”

Daniel stood back from the door and opened it wider. Darren nodded, throat dry, and stepped in. He glanced around curiously, noticing the changes that had occurred in the house since the last time he’d been there. It certainly wasn’t the place he remembered. A line from I Don’t Know You Anymore ran through his head, but he firmly pushed it aside. He didn’t have time to deal with the emotions that memories of the Affirmation tour brought up. Darren needed to be in control for this conversation. If the singer got all emotional now, he wasn’t going to be able to talk about the things the pair desperately needed to talk about.

Daniel stood in the entryway of his own house, looking as uncomfortable as Darren felt. “Uh, you want something to drink?” He asked quietly.

“Just water, please,” Darren requested.

“Sure thing,” Daniel said, gratefully escaping into the kitchen. He returned a few moments later carrying a beer in one hand and a glass of water with the other. He offered the water to Darren, then inclined his head, nodding to the living room.

“You wanna head in there?”

“Yeah, ok.”

Darren followed Daniel into the room, clutching the water glass like a lifeline. Daniel plopped down into a chair, leaving Darren to the couch. He sat down uncomfortably, feeling tense. The silence between the two stretched until Darren couldn’t take it anymore.

“So, is Kathleen here?”

“No, she’s at work.”

“Oh, yeah. Hey, why aren’t you at work?”

“I’m doing some mixing stuff at home... for some things I still prefer my home studio to the one at the office.”

“Ahh.” Darren paused for a moment. “So, about Kathleen... how’re things going between you two?”

“They’re good. How’s things with that girl... Kaylie, Kylie?”

“Kylie,” Darren affirmed. “We broke up.”

“Oh, sorry,” Daniel said, looking incredibly uncomfortable again.

“It’s ok,” Darren responded. The silence again lengthened. Darren shifted, unable to come up with anything more to say. He knew he should tell Daniel what he had come there to tell him, but couldn’t make himself begin. Instead, he stared into his water glass as if it held the secrets of the universe, hoping it would provide him with the inspiration and the courage to start talking. Since when had he ever been short on words?

Daniel was doing the same thing in his chair. There was so much he wanted to say to Darren, things he wanted to get straight, but he couldn’t force himself to speak a word. He took a deep gulp of his beer, wondering why Darren had come. They had talked to each other a few times after the breakup, seen each other a few times during the Australian leg of Darren’s tour, but Darren had never seemed all that eager to talk to him. He had seemed quite content to let things go on as they had been. Daniel, while not exactly happy with the status quo, didn’t really want to bring up painful memories, either. So he had let it go, and figured this would be the way things always were. Or at least, that’s what he thought until Darren had shown up at his doorstep.

The quiet in the room slowly became more and more oppressive as time went on and neither man said anything. Darren found that as the silence continued, it became harder and harder to talk. He tried to force his vocal cords to form the words that waited on the tip of his tongue, but to no avail. This could have continued indefinitely, but Daniel finally tired of it. Twisting in his chair to face Darren, he leaned in closer and looked penetratingly at the singer.

“Why did you come back here, Darren? You made it quite clear that you didn’t need or want me around. And you’ve made it on your own just fine. You got what you wanted; you’re where you wanted to be now.” Daniel winced after saying that last statement. He had heard that song, but he didn’t want Darren to know that. He turned away, about to get up for another beer.

“Am I?” Darren asked before he could stop himself, his heart leaping. So Daniel had been paying attention to him after he went solo. He wasn’t as indifferent as he seemed.

Daniel stopped. His shoulders tensed. This was the deepest conversation they’d had since well before the breakup, and it was the first time Darren seemed anywhere close to an apology for his behavior. Daniel waged a brief, internal debate. If he left the room now, this conversation would be over. He and Darren would go back to their uncomfortable, awkward conversations and interactions. He didn’t want that. He had missed Darren. But he wasn’t sure he wanted to revisit the painful memories of their breakup. Did he really want to do this? Slowly, Daniel turned around and sat back down.

“Are you?” He asked softly.

 

 

~Chapter Two - Making Up~

 

“Have you gotten what you wanted, Darren?” Daniel asked. Now that Darren was here, the guitarist was going to get some answers.

Darren ducked his head, unable to meet Daniel’s eyes. “Not really,” he answered softly. Daniel waited for the singer to say more, but it appeared Darren was tongue-tied. This really startled Daniel. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen Darren at a loss for words.

“Darren?” He prompted.

“Yeah,” Darren said, shaking his head to dislodge whatever thoughts were occupying him. “No, I’m not really happy with the way things turned out. It certainly wasn’t what I expected. Sure, I have my album. And it’s a success. Sort of.” Darren shrugged.

“It was fun to make. I really enjoyed creating it. And Walter was great to work with. It’s just... there was something missing, you know? Walter and I worked well together, but I had to explain everything I wanted to him. He doesn’t understand me the way you did.” Here Darren looked up and smiled at Daniel. “I guess you spoiled me, huh?”

Daniel wasn’t sure how to respond to that, so he said nothing. Darren waited for a moment, then sighed and continued.

“I guess what’s really bothering me is what happened to us. That’s why I came here. The way things ended between us was just wrong. I miss you, Dan. I miss being able to create music with you. I miss you understanding what I want to say before I can say it. I miss having you for a friend. I don’t want almost nine years of friendship to just disappear, I guess.”

Darren stopped then, his wide blue eyes searching Daniel’s face for some sign. Daniel’s face, however, was unreadable. Darren sighed quietly. That was yet another sign of the distance between them. There was a time not so long ago that he could have read every emotion on the guitarist’s face. Well, I guess I’m just going to have to wait until he decides to talk to me. Hope it doesn’t take him as long as it usually does, Darren thought with a small grin. Luckily for Darren’s peace of mind, it didn’t take Daniel long to respond.

“Darren, I didn’t want our partnership, or our friendship, to end the way it did. Need I remind you whose idea it was to publicly announce Savage Garden’s breakup without consulting the other half of Savage Garden?” Daniel asked angrily.

“And need I remind you just who left me to do all the promoting Savage Garden needed to be successful?” Darren asked, his hackles rising.

“You said you’d do it.” Daniel’s voice was rising dangerously.

“Only because that was the only way I could get you to stay. We already had the god-damned tour booked, and you were just going to run out on me!”

“Oh, come on. Don’t tell me you didn’t like being the only one in the spotlight,” Daniel sneered.

“No! I hated it! Do you have any idea of how hard it was to go to all of those things without you? To constantly be asked where you were at every interview? To make sure that everyone understood that Savage Garden was a partnership, Darren and Daniel, not just Darren? It was miserable. And stressful.”

“Uh-huh. And do you dislike being the only one in the spotlight now?”

“I didn’t say that,” Darren said, his voice softening slightly. “I’ve always liked being the center of attention, Dan. You know that. But it’s easier now. I’m not one person trying to promote two. I only have to speak for me. It makes things much simpler.”

“So you didn’t like promoting for us, but promoting for you is ok, huh?”

“God, Daniel, stop twisting my words! I loved promoting for our first tour. I just hated it the second tour. It was like I’d already gone solo, but I was still chained to Savage Garden. We were supposed to be partners, but it became evident with every interview without you that we weren’t anymore.”

“You felt chained to Savage Garden?” Daniel asked, a bit of hurt coloring his voice.

“Are you honestly going to tell me you didn’t?” Darren questioned with a raised eyebrow. “I know you did. We just felt chained for different reasons. You didn’t like the spotlight, the intrusion of privacy, and all the other trappings that come with stardom. I didn’t like being pigeonholed into a musical partnership that was obviously failing. You can’t really be a band when the two members’ goals are so radically different.”

“Which is, of course, why you decided to inform the world of Savage Garden’s demise before me, right?”

Darren bit his lip and blushed. “About that... I’m really sorry, Daniel. I did not intend for that to happen the way it did. I realize I should have talked to you before I talked to Adams, but it was late and I was just talking. I wasn’t watching what I was saying the way I should have been. And then he promised me he was going to keep it quiet for two weeks. I honestly was going to call you that morning and ask whether I could fly down so that we could talk. I would never have deliberately betrayed you like that, Daniel, no matter what was going on between us. Please believe me. I am truly sorry.”

Daniel looked into Darren’s earnest blue eyes and saw the guilt and sorrow there. He knew Darren had felt bad at the time the incident had occurred... even with all the distance between them at that point, he could tell from Darren’s tone of voice on the phone that it wasn’t what he had wanted to happen. But before now, Darren had never directly apologized for it. Daniel felt the lingering traces of anger disappear under the force of that sapphire gaze. He wanted to tell Darren that it would be all right, but there were still some things left unsaid between them. For the first time, Daniel showed signs of nervousness. Darren waited quietly for whatever response Daniel was going to give him. There was a certain air of resignation about him, as if he would accept whatever Daniel said and do whatever Daniel wanted him to do. Conscious of this, Daniel took care in wording his next question.

“The one thing I still don’t understand is why, Darren. Why did you have to give up Savage Garden? Why did it have to be either/or?”

“It just had to be,” Darren said, shrugging and looking down. “I’ve never been one to do things halfway. To me, being a part of Savage Garden and attempting a solo career would be doing just that. I wouldn’t really be a solo artist, but I wouldn’t really be part of a band if we weren’t making new music, either. I couldn’t live with a foot in both worlds, Daniel. I couldn’t just do nothing for those years when I'd be waiting for you to decide whether you wanted to tour or not. And if I tried to go solo when I was still a part of Savage Garden... I mean, how many people have had successful careers as solo artists while still attached to a successful band? I didn’t want to be ‘that singer from Savage Garden’, although I’m not completely sure I managed to avoid that.” Darren made a face, and Daniel laughed. At the sound, Darren’s eyes snapped back up to Daniel’s face. When Daniel continued smiling, Darren returned a lopsided smile. Then he grew serious again.

“And, Daniel, do you honestly think you ever would have been ready to tour again?”

Now it was Daniel’s turn to look down. He didn’t respond for a long moment. Then, slowly, he shook his head no. Darren sighed.

“I didn’t think so. I think I knew that from the moment you had that breakdown in Japan. As cruel as this sounds, I didn’t want to wait around for something that would never happen. So I broke all the ties before anything else had the chance to. But, Danny,” here Darren placed a hand lightly on Daniel’s. This turned Daniel’s head back up to meet Darren’s gaze, and the singer turned the full force of his blue eyes on his once-partner. “Even if I went about it the wrong way, I had to do it. Do you see what I mean? Can you understand where I’m coming from, now?”

Daniel stared first into Darren’s pleading blue eyes and then at the singer’s hand where it covered his own. This was a surprise. He had never actually expected Darren to apologize. And he did understand why Darren had acted that way, even if he didn’t like it. I guess it’s stupid to hold a grudge about this, especially when Darren took the time to explain, Daniel thought. And... I don’t really want to still be mad. I missed him. Daniel smiled, a small smile but genuine, and met Darren’s eyes again.

“Yeah, I see what you mean. I understand. And... I’m sorry, too.”

Darren looked up, surprise and happiness warring for dominance on his face. “So... things are ok?”

“Yeah, Dare, things are ok.”

“And we can go back to being friends?”

“Of course we can.”

Darren literally bounced out of the sofa and into Daniel, wrapping his arms around Daniel’s chest and squeezing tightly. Surprised, Daniel hesitated a moment before returning the hug, closing his eyes briefly. This one embrace had the power to bring back all the memories of the good times with Darren. Daniel tightened the hug for a moment, feeling a lump form in his throat. He hadn’t realized exactly how much he’d missed Darren until right then. Darren held him close for a second more, then broke away, his eyes suspiciously bright.

“I’m so glad. You have no idea. I was seriously afraid you were going to slam the door in my face this afternoon,” Darren related with a shaky laugh.

“I think I have an idea of how glad you are... I missed you, too, you know!” Daniel laughingly protested. “And the thought of shutting you out did cross my mind, but I was too curious to hear what you were standing out there for. Now I’m very grateful I didn’t.”

“Me, too! I don’t think my ego would have survived such a blow,” Darren teased.

Daniel gave a shout of laughter, and Darren’s ringing laugh followed. The two men smiled at each other for a moment, and then Daniel opened his mouth. Darren was never to find out what Daniel was about to say, however, because the door opening interrupted the men. Kathleen walked in, laying her keys on the table by the door and glancing curiously at Darren’s, which were also occupying that spot. She peered into the living room and stopped short when she saw Darren there.

“Darren?” She asked.

“Hi, Kathleen,” he responded with a little wave.

“Hi,” she answered hesitantly. “Um, not to be rude or anything, but shouldn’t you be on tour?”

Daniel snorted with laughter. “Yeah, that’s what I asked him, too.”

“I had a few days off, and I decided to come down here. There were some things I had to do.” Here Darren smiled at Daniel, who returned the smile. This exchange did not escape Kathleen’s notice.

“And did you get them taken care of?” She inquired.

“Yeah,” said Darren, a note of satisfaction in his voice. “Yeah, I did.”

“Good.” Kathleen looked at Daniel, a searching look. Whatever she saw there must have made up her mind. “Well, I’ve been needing to get to the store for a long time now. We’re out of almost everything. How about I pick up something special for dinner, and you can eat with us tonight, Darren?”

Darren glanced at Daniel, who smiled and nodded. He turned back to Kathleen, a brilliant smile on his face.

“I’d love that, thanks.”

“All right, then. I’ll be back in a few, ok?”

Kathleen turned to leave, but Daniel caught up with her in the entryway.

“Hey,” he said, stopping her with a hand on her arm. “Thanks.”

“No problem. I’m just glad you and Darren got things worked out between you two. You did get them worked out, right?”

“Yeah, we did.”

“Good. I know how much that was bothering you. I’m just happy it all worked out.”

She leaned up and pressed a kiss to Daniel’s cheek, then playfully swatted his hand off her arm.

“Now, if you want dinner any time soon, you’re gonna have to let me go.”

“Go, then!” Daniel said, responding with an equally playful shove. “I’m starving!”

Kathleen’s laugh was the last thing Daniel heard before she shut the door firmly behind her. Daniel smiled happily and turned towards the living room again. He and Darren had a lot to catch up on, and he couldn’t wait to start.

 

 

~Chapter Three - Premonitions~

 

Kathleen could hear the laughter from the living room clearly in the kitchen, and it made her smile. Daniel looked happier than he had in a long while. Darren coming back really was a good thing, she mused. She hadn’t been sure when she had come into the house and seen him there. Kat didn’t know much about what had happened between the two except what could be read in interviews; Daniel was very closemouthed about this topic. Although she knew that both were at fault for the break-up, she had felt that Daniel had reacted in a worse way to the break-up than Darren. Part of that probably had to do with the fact that she saw Daniel in private, whereas she only saw Darren in a social situation. He was quite the social butterfly, always polite, friendly, and composed. It was a striking contrast to her Daniel, whose natural grace and charm was dampened when he was faced with large groups of unfamiliar people.

These very characteristics made it hard for her to gauge how Darren really felt. She assumed, however, that the fact that Darren had made the first move towards reconciliation said something about how he had been affected. Kathleen put the final touches on the salad she was making and smiled. She had made quite a good dinner, if she did say so herself. Quickly, she set the table and laid the food out. Then she walked into the living room and leaned against the wall, listening to the men talk. Darren was telling some story, his face animated and his arms gesticulating wildly. Daniel was listening with sparkling eyes and a brilliant smile. Kathleen felt a small pang of jealousy that she quickly pushed aside. She hadn’t seen a smile like that on Daniel for almost a year now. But, she reasoned, it was only natural. He had, after all, just made up with his best friend. She continued to stand quietly, waiting for the pair to notice her.

Darren looked up first. His eyes widened when he saw her and he stopped mid-sentence. This caused Daniel to look up, as well. Kat laughed when she saw the surprise on their faces.

“How long have you been standing there?” Darren asked.

“Not long,” she reassured him. “I wanted to let you two know that dinner is ready.”

Daniel jumped up. Darren followed suit more slowly. Kathleen led the group into the dining room and gestured grandly towards the table.

“Dinner is served,” she laughed.

“Mm, it looks good,” Darren commented, sitting on Daniel’s right. That left Kat sitting across from Daniel. She sat down, a bit surprised by this arrangement, but said nothing. It wouldn’t have mattered anyway. The pair was already deep in conversation. Daniel grabbed the platter of chicken Kat had made and put a piece on his plate. He made as if to hand it to Darren, and then hesitated.

“You’re still eating meat, right, Dare?” He asked worriedly.

“Yeah,” said Darren. “I need the extra energy for my touring schedule.”

“Then here you go,” Daniel said, offering the chicken to Darren. Darren took a piece, then passed the chicken to Kathleen. After all the food had been passed around, the three set to eating.

“This is really good, Kathleen,” Darren complimented.

“Thanks,” she smiled. “I really like to cook.”

“And she’s good at it, too,” Daniel commented, smiling at Kathleen.

Unfortunately for her, that was all the attention she got that night from either one of the men. The two seemed lost in their own little world, and Kat felt very left out. She couldn’t believe that they were suddenly so close after everything that had happened. It was almost as if all those harsh words and the year of separation they had endured hadn’t happened. It was very confusing, but Kathleen just shrugged it off as being male behavior. Females certainly wouldn’t react like this, she thought with an internal laugh. We’d carry a grudge for ages, and things would never be the same between us again. But obviously it doesn’t bother guys. You apologize and then it’s all over. This was interesting on another level, as well. She was getting to see a side of Daniel she’d never seen before. He was always slightly reserved, always held a little something back. Even in their relationship he managed to hold something of himself back. Kathleen had just assumed that was the way he was, but she was beginning to doubt that now. Daniel was the most animated and open he’d ever been, and it was all because of Darren. She had heard that the two had once been like this, but she’d never seen it. By the time she met Daniel, the rift between him and Darren had already begun to grow. While they were still close, they were nothing like they were now. She had to admit, she hadn’t believed it when she’d heard stories about Daniel and Darren before the Affirmation tour, but it was hard to refute what her eyes were telling her.

Another niggling burst of jealousy hit her, this one harder to push away. She determined that at the next lull in the conversation she was going to push herself in. She wasn’t going to be left out any longer. She waited quietly for her chance, pushing her food around her plate. Soon Daniel finished his story about something that had happened at work, and there was a small pause. Kathleen quickly jumped in.

“So, Darren, how long are you here for?”

Darren looked slightly surprised at Kathleen’s question, but answered readily enough. “Well, not counting tonight, about three days. I leave the night of the third day. Leonie said that was all the time I could spare.” Darren rolled his eyes.

Daniel looked disappointed. “Only three days?” He asked.

“Yeah,” Darren responded. He looked hesitantly at Daniel out of the corner of his eye. “I have a really huge break coming up; some of my concerts were cancelled because of political unrest. I could probably come back to Australia at some point during that. I mean, if you wanted me to."

“Why wouldn’t I?” Daniel countered. “We have a lot to catch up on. And I want to show you around Meridienmusik, and I don’t have the time to do it on this short break. So, yes, I’d like it if you’d come back.”

The relief on Darren’s face translated into a blindingly brilliant smile, which Daniel returned. Immediately, the two returned to their private conversation, leaving Kathleen out again. She sighed, resigned to her position, and contented herself with just listening.

None too soon for Kathleen, the interminable dinner was over. Very reluctantly, she asked Darren if he wanted to stay for coffee.

“I’d like to,” Darren said, “but I should probably be going. I haven’t checked into my hotel yet. I should probably do that before too long. Wouldn’t want to have my hotel room given to someone else.”

“Well,” offered Daniel, draping a companionable arm over Darren’s shoulders. “If they do give your reservation away, you’re welcome to stay here.”

No, he isn’t, Kathleen thought irritably, but said nothing aloud. She had a feeling she’d lose this argument in a heartbeat.

“Hey, about tomorrow night,” Daniel continued. “I hear there’s a new club open. It sounds like your kind of place. You wanna go there?”

“Sounds good,” confirmed Darren with a smile. He turned to Kathleen, the smile still firmly in place. “Thank you for dinner. It was very good.”

“You’re welcome,” Kat said. She felt a nudge from behind her. She guessed that Daniel wanted her to invite Darren for dinner again, but she wasn’t particularly looking forward to another night of non-existence. She hesitated for a moment longer, but gave in when Daniel shot her a strange look.

“Would you like to come to dinner the night before you leave?” She invited unenthusiastically. Daniel gave her another odd look, noticing the tone of her voice. Darren didn’t seem to pick up on her unwillingness, however, and accepted the invitation gladly. Kathleen gave an internal sigh. Oh, well, can’t win ‘em all. And he’ll be gone soon, thank God.

Darren soon left, and Kathleen walked to the dining room and began picking up plates. Daniel followed her in.

“Kat, what’s wrong?” He asked.

“Nothing,” she answered shortly, taking the plates and heading into the kitchen.

“Come on, Kat, I know something’s wrong.”

“I already told you. Nothing’s wrong, ok?”

“Kat, you don’t get all worked up over nothing. Are you upset that we didn’t invite you to go out with us tomorrow? 'Cause if you are, you can come. We just didn’t think you’d want to.”

“And I don’t,” Kathleen responded with feeling.

“Then why are you upset?” Daniel asked, a puzzled frown on his face. That did it. Kathleen set the plates down and turned around to face Daniel.

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because I just spent the last few hours being completely ignored by you and Darren?”

“We didn’t ignore you,” Daniel protested.

“Oh, yes, you did. Completely and utterly ignored me. That was the worst dinner I have ever had to sit through in my life. And I’m not looking forward to a repeat of it in the near future.”

“Kat…” Daniel was at a loss. “We didn’t mean to ignore you. It’s just… I haven’t seen him, really seen him, in over a year. We had a lot to catch up on, is all.”

“And that’s another thing. You’re going to forgive him, just like that,” Kathleen snapped her fingers, “after everything he did to you?”

“We both were at fault, Kat. And he did apologize.”

“And that makes it all better?”

“Yeah, it does,” Daniel was getting irritated, as well. “Why are you making such an issue of this, Kathleen? It’s my business whether I forgive him or not, not yours.”

“Yeah, I know,” Kathleen answered with a bit of defeat. “I just didn’t like being ignored all evening for a man who treated you the way he did.”

Daniel smiled a little and wrapped his arms around Kat’s waist. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were jealous,” he teased, his anger disappearing as quickly as it had come. Kathleen didn’t say anything. Daniel’s eyes widened. “You are jealous!” he breathed.

“Yeah, a little,” Kat said, twisting out of his arms.

“Don’t be, Kat. It’s just… Darren and I have a history. He was my best friend for such a long time. We’ve experienced so much together. It makes us really close. I know when we get like that, we tend to shut other people out. I’d just forgotten about it because it’s been so long since we were that close. But it doesn’t mean I don’t love you, Kat.”

He stepped closer and wrapped his arms around her waist again. She submitted this time, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“Yeah, I know,” she answered. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s 'k,” Daniel murmured, leaning down to brush her lips with a kiss. Kat kissed him back, stifling that annoying voice in the back of her head that kept saying that what she’d witnessed went beyond normal friendship. It was almost as if Darren and Daniel were bound together on some deep level, a level she could never hope to reach with Daniel. She could now see where all the rumors about the pair came from, and it made her uncomfortable. Please, she begged whatever power was listening. Please let this feeling just be my insecurities and not woman’s intuition. I don’t want to lose him.

Daniel broke the kiss, pulling away slightly. He smiled at Kathleen.

“Better now?” He asked.

“Much,” she responded quietly.

“Good. Do you need any help cleaning up the kitchen?”

“Nah, I’ve got it.”

“All right, then. I’m going to be in my studio… I didn’t get all the work done I needed to. Don’t wait up for me, ok?”

“Okay.” Kat leaned up for one more kiss, then returned to the kitchen. The emotional turmoil of the day had exhausted her, and she wanted nothing more than to get the dishes done and go to bed. She was sure everything she had felt tonight would look silly in the morning. And if it didn’t… well, she’d cross that bridge when she came to it.

 

 

~Chapter Four - Preparations~

 

Darren woke up with a sense of well-being he hadn’t felt in a long time, despite the persistently annoying buzz of the alarm clock. He slapped viciously at the clock until it fell silent, then lay back down. It took him a moment to remember why he felt so good, but then a huge smile spread across his face. Danny had accepted his apology! Darren certainly hadn’t expected that to happen, although he had hoped Danny would. Although the pair had a long history of friendship, they had also managed to fill the last two years with a lot of angry words and pain. Darren was just glad that their friendship had triumphed. He hadn’t been kidding when he told Dan he’d missed him. There had been a huge, gaping hole in his life for the past year. Last night had gone a long way towards filling it, and the singer was sure tonight would do the rest. He wished he had more time here, but Danny had said he wanted to see him again, so going back on tour wouldn’t be quite so bad.

Darren glanced lazily at the clock and then did a double take. It couldn’t possibly be that late, could it? He couldn’t have slept through the alarm for that long. With a small yelp of panic, Darren shot out of the bed and headed for the bathroom, pulling off his t-shirt as he went. He quickly stripped off his boxers and hopped into the shower. The singer took probably the quickest shower in his life, then returned to the room before he was fully dry, a towel wrapped around his waist and another slung over his neck. He picked up the phone and quickly dialed.

“Hello?” came a female voice from the other end.

“Hi, mum!” Darren said cheerily.

“Darren, do you know what time it is?” His mother asked.

“Um, almost noon?” Darren answered meekly.

“And what time were you supposed to call?”

“10:30-ish.”

“So what happened?”

“I slept in, mum! You can’t give a guy a break for jet lag coupled with extreme emotional stress?”

Darren could hear the repressed amusement in his mother’s voice as she responded with, “Well… normally I wouldn’t, but seeing as it’s you…”

“Do you still want to go to lunch?” Darren asked, laughing.

“I’d love to, but you’re going to have to pick me up. I lent my car to a certain someone, and now I don’t have a ride.”

“Not a problem. I’ll be there soon, ok?”

“Good. And then you’re going to tell me how things went last night, you hear?”

“Yes, mum, I hear,” Darren laughed.

“Bye, dear,” said his mother, and hung up. Darren smiled as he gently set down the receiver. He was glad his mom still wanted to meet. He had been dying to tell someone about last night, and who better than his mother? He also hadn’t had time to just relax with any of his family in a long time. One of the downfalls of living on a different continent and having a career with a busy touring schedule was how that separated him from his family. Well, this trip is turning out to be productive on all fronts, isn’t it? Darren thought happily. He rummaged through his suitcase for something to wear, then pulled up short, a pair of jeans and a black button-down dangling from his hands. He didn’t have anything to wear for tonight!

Darren sighed, then grinned mischievously. He couldn’t go out in the clothes he had with him, so he would just have to buy some he could go out in. With that happy thought in mind, Darren quickly pulled on his clothes and shoes. He took his wallet, room key, and car keys from the bedside table. Quickly he ran an eye over the room, making sure that he hadn’t forgotten anything important. Grabbing his light jacket, Darren stepped outside his door and hurried down to his car.

* * * * *

A short while later, Darren was sitting with his mother at a table in a small restaurant not far from his family’s house. The food had just arrived, and Darren looked eagerly at his salad. The salad, complete with grilled chicken, pecans, mandarin oranges, and dried cranberries tossed with a light vinaigrette dressing, had sounded intriguing on the menu, and looked even more so sitting in front of him. He barely managed a bite, however, before his mother started the interrogation. She certainly seemed less interested in her sandwich than she was in wrangling information out of her son.

“So?” She prompted.

“So what?” Darren responded, playing dumb. He took another bite of his salad. It was really quite good, he noticed. His mother rolled her eyes.

“You know what. How did things go with Daniel yesterday? I assume it must have gone pretty well, seeing as you are here and alive and I didn’t hear anything on the news this morning about Daniel being found murdered.”

“Well, if you already know that much, what’re you bothering me for?” Darren asked with a disgruntled glare at his mother. He didn’t appreciate the crack about the two of them killing each other, although he had to admit it had certainly seemed like things between them were going to eventually get to that point.

“I’m just teasing, sweetie. Don’t get so mad,” his mother said with a laugh. “And I want to know what exactly happened, and I know you really want to tell me.”

Darren pouted briefly, but then a sunny smile suddenly appeared on his face.

“You know me too well!” He exclaimed. “Although, I suppose that’s your right as my mother, hmm?” He waited for his mother’s assenting nod, then continued on with his story.

“It went much better last night than I could ever have expected. I was so afraid Danny was going to slam the door in my face, but he let me in almost right away. And then, we’re in his living room, sitting across from each other, and I couldn’t think of a single thing to say!”

“You??” Judy Hayes gasped in feigned disbelief. “My Darren, speechless?” Darren just rolled his eyes and continued.

“So Daniel finally asks what I came to see him for, and I managed to get it all out. How I felt bad about what happened, and how I wanted us to be friends again. He was kinda mad, and we got into it a little bit over whose fault it was that the band broke up. But I think we both realized that neither one of us was either completely guilty or completely innocent. So, he accepted my apology. And he apologized, too. And then he and Kathleen invited me to dinner, and Dan said he wanted me to come back over my break in touring so he could show me Meridienmusik, and he and I have plans for tonight, and everything’s back to normal,” Darren finished in a rush.

“What’s Kathleen like?” Judy asked curiously.

“Uh… I don’t really know,” Darren confessed. “She didn’t talk much last night.”

“She didn’t talk much last night, or you two didn’t let her talk much last night?”

“Well, probably the latter,” Darren said with a blush.

“Oh, Darren! That poor girl! That was probably the worst dinner of her life. The way you two get when you’re together… I feel sorry for her.”

“We didn’t mean to!” Darren protested. “It’s just… we had so much to talk about. All that time to make up for. It wasn’t like we were deliberately ignoring her, it just happened!”

“I know, but it most likely was not pleasant for Kathleen. She hasn’t even had time to get used to you two being close again.”

Darren just shrugged and took another huge bite of his salad. He did feel kind of bad for Kathleen now that his mother had pointed out how their behavior had most likely affected her, but not badly enough to regret the closeness of last night. If he had his way, this closeness would continue, so she would just have to get used to it at some point. Darren was sure she would. Everyone else had, eventually. Judy noticed the closed-off look in her son’s eyes and decided to change the subject.

“You said you had plans with Daniel this evening?” She questioned, watching as her youngest lit up again with excitement.

“Yup,” he confirmed. “Dan says he knows a good club we can hang out at. Which reminds me. You up for a shopping trip this afternoon?”

“Always. What did you have in mind?”

“Well, I didn’t bring any clothes suitable for going out in, so I need to pick some stuff out for tonight.”

“Sounds good,” his mom answered. “Just let me finish my sandwich and then we can go.”

“You don’t have to hurry. We have time.”

“Darren, you forget. I’m your mother. I know how you shop. If I want to get home to make dinner for your father tonight, we need to leave here soon!”

“Ha ha, very funny,” Darren retorted, but turned to his salad with renewed vigor. His mother wasn’t exaggerating his shopping abilities by much, Darren was honest enough to admit.

* * * * *

Daniel turned off his sound equipment, finally satisfied. He stretched, feeling the vertebrae in his back popping. He glanced at the clock and smiled. Darren should be calling soon to confirm their plans for tonight. Daniel couldn’t deny the frisson of anticipation that rushed through him at the thought. Life had gotten predictable without Darren around. Although the guitarist loved the stability and routine he had managed to establish for himself, he did admit that it was also slightly boring. Something vital had been missing from his life.

Darren was that something. Life with Darren as a friend was never boring. The singer flung himself wholeheartedly into everything in life, riding both the highest highs and the lowest lows that were thrown at him. That way of life was too exhausting for Daniel, but he had to admit it was exciting to live vicariously through Darren. The older man’s impact on the people he cared for was incredibly intense, and Daniel had missed the vibrancy that Darren had brought into his life. Tonight promised to be quite an evening.

Thoughts of Darren brought back memories of last night, and Daniel felt a pang of guilt. In retrospect, he and Darren really had completely ignored Kat all evening, even after she had gone to all that trouble to make dinner for them. Although Daniel knew he probably could not have acted differently, he still couldn’t help feeling bad for Kat. She certainly wasn’t used to the way he and Darren could be with each other. Daniel knew that his closeness with Darren had sometimes even irritated Colby, and she had been used to their behavior. Since Kat had no basis for comparison, he could see where this would make her slightly angry. He wanted to do something to make it up to her. A wide grin suddenly spread across Daniel’s face, and he jumped up. He had the perfect idea for tonight, but he’d have to get ready quickly. Kat would be home soon, and he wanted to be ready before she got back.

Daniel took a quick shower and headed back to his bedroom. He stood in front of the closet for a moment, debating on what he should wear. Finally, with a shrug and a sigh, he chose some random clothes out of his closet. He knew he’d be overshadowed by Darren in the clothes department, but when wasn’t he? He yanked on a pair of dark khakis and a deep green shirt. Daniel was in the process of brushing his teeth when the phone rang. Grabbing the phone, Daniel pushed the toothbrush to the side of his mouth.

“’Lo?” he said, voice muffled by the toothbrush and paste.

“Danny?” came Darren’s hesitant voice.

“Yeah, hang on a sec,” Daniel responded. He quickly removed the toothbrush, spat, and rinsed.

“I’m back. Sorry ‘bout that. I was brushing my teeth.”

“Are you busy? Should I call you back?”

“Nah, I’m good now.”

“Ok. So… how was your day?”

“Good. I got a lot of stuff done, so it was good. How was yours?”

“Mm, good. I had lunch with mum today. She wanted to make sure we hadn’t killed each other last night.”

Daniel laughed. “That sounds like your mum. Gave you the third degree, did she?”

“Yeah, just a bit. But it was good to hang out with her. I haven’t had much time to just be with my family lately.”

“Yeah,” Daniel said quietly. He remembered how he had hated being away from his family when Savage Garden was touring. It was one of the major reasons he had wanted the break. Darren was obviously thinking the same thing, because there was a short, awkward silence on the line.

“Well,” Darren finally offered, his voice deliberately bright. “We still on for tonight?”

“Yeah, of course,” Daniel returned, grateful for the change in topic.

“Good. So what time are we going?”

“Probably around 11. Kat and I are going out to dinner first, and anyway, things don’t get interesting until later.”

“True,” Darren responded. “And Mum wants me to stay for dinner tonight, so that works. Hey, where’re we going again?”

“It’s this new place, kinda hard to find unless you know where to look. I’ll just come pick you up. Where’re you staying?”

“Um, the Holiday Inn.”

“Really? That’s not that far from the club, only about three blocks."

Kat walked in at that moment with a cheery greeting. Daniel smiled at her and mouthed “hi” while gesturing at the phone. She grinned and nodded, walking over to him to kiss him on the cheek. Then she slipped away to the kitchen to get something to drink. Daniel turned his attention back to the phone.

“How do you think parking’s going to be?” Darren was saying.

“Uh, probably bad. It always is at these places.”

“Do you just want to park here at the hotel? If it’s really only three blocks, we can walk there.”

“You don’t mind? 'Cause that would be great.”

“Nah, I don’t mind. Could use the exercise after eating at my mum’s. She always makes so much!”

“Ok, it’s settled then. I’ll see you at 11, then. Meet me down in the lobby?”

“I’ll be there. Have fun at dinner tonight.”

“Yeah, you too. Bye!”

“See ya.”

Daniel hung up the phone, a small smile playing around his lips, and then followed Kat into the kitchen. She was leaning up against the counter, drinking a glass of water.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey,” she responded with a smile. “You look nice. You dressed to go out with Darren already?”

“Sort of. You busy this evening?”

“Hmm, I dunno,” Kat teased. “Depends on what you have in mind.”

“How about dinner?”

“Are you buying?”

“Of course!”

Kat laughed. “Then just give me a few minutes to get ready, ok?”

“Take all the time you need.”

Kat paused on her way up the stairs. “You know, you should never say things like that to girls.”

“Why not?”

“Because we take advantage of people giving us all the time we need.”

“Well, then, if you take too long, I’m going without you,” Daniel said with a chuckle. “I’m starving.”

“I’m moving, I’m moving,” Kat said as she disappeared into the bedroom. A surprisingly short time later, she emerged.

“You look nice,” Daniel echoed her comment from before.

“Thanks,” Kat responded as she stepped down the stairs. She had changed into a pair of black slacks and a warm blue cashmere sweater.

“So, where are we going?”

“Uh…” Daniel stopped short. He hadn’t quite thought that far in advance. Kathleen stopped as well and studied Dan’s face. Then she burst into laughter.

“Forgot that part, huh?”

Daniel blushed a bit, and Kathleen laughed harder.

“Well, since you didn’t have anything else in mind, how about we go out for Italian? I’ve been craving fettuccini for a while now. That ok with you?”

“Yeah, it sounds great,” Daniel said, still a little red. “Let’s go.”

The drive to the restaurant was relaxed and casual, as was the conversation while waiting for the food. It seemed that Kathleen had gotten over her anger at being ignored, which made Daniel feel much better. He hated fighting, and he didn’t want to be at odds with Kathleen over Darren. Their still slightly unstable friendship didn’t need that strain on it now.

“So,” Kat began as the waiter brought their food out. “When are you and Darren going out tonight?”

“Around 11,” Daniel told her.

“That late?” Kat asked.

“Clubs don’t really start to get interesting until around then.”

“True. It’s been so long since I’ve really been to one I’d forgotten.”

“God, I went to so many of them with Darren… there are just some things you don’t forget.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Kat looked slightly uncomfortable at the reminder of her boyfriend’s closeness to Darren. “How long do you think you’ll be gone tonight?”

“Not that long, I guess. Darren’s still probably going to be jetlagged, and it’s been a while since I’ve really been out all night. I should be back before it really becomes morning.”

“Ahh, ok,” Kat said, her expression betraying a slight bit of relief. As unreasonable as she’d convinced herself that her fears from the night before were, she still felt a bit of unease at the thought of Daniel spending a great deal of time with Darren. There was just something about the dynamic of the two together that set off warning bells in her head.

“So,” she said, switching topics completely. “Tell me about your day.”

The rest of the evening continued in that light vein. Dinner was delicious. Kathleen was thrilled that Daniel had thought of this. It managed to lay some of her fears to rest. They returned home, and passed the rest of the evening talking and watching television. Daniel glanced up at the clock and turned back to Kat.

“Hey, I’ve got to go pick up Darren. I’ll see you later, ok?”

“Yeah, ok,” Kat responded. She stood when Daniel did, and walked him to the door. He kissed her goodbye lightly, then turned to leave.

“Have fun, and don’t stay out too late,” Kat couldn’t resist saying.

Daniel rolled his eyes. “Yes, mum,” he called over his shoulder, not even turning around. “’Night, Kat.”

“Night, Dan,” Kat answered, then closed the door behind him.