"It's rather nice, isn't it Danny?"
Well, someone had to break the silence.
He nodded.
It was amazing...the silence was so thick, so injected with lost feelings...I guess I was at a loss too. Memories flooded my mind as I scratched my naturally blonde hair. It was different, somehow not as soft as the raven mane that had made me famous...
"Yeah, Darren. I never knew Japan could be so peaceful, after all the touring in Tokyo. It's been awhile." I could tell, he was fumbling for something to fill in the gap. Something to make it all better.
Nothing could fill this gap. He had wanted this after all....he had wanted to break up the band. Yes, it was HIS decision. And it still hurt.
There he sits, resting his feet on the low tea table, leaning against the white sofa. His long nimble fingers rub the tatami mats gently, eyes reflecting the distant skyline peering in from the other side of the glass balcony. A small fire roars on the wall beside us, breaking the chill from the remnants of winter in Matsumoto.

If only it could break the chill between "Darren'' and "Daniel". Bring back Daz and Jonesy.

It wasn't so much the band breaking up that bothered me...it was the distance that was put between us. It had nothing to do with Brisbane, San Fran, Aneiki, Spin, Darren Hayes, NOTHING. It had to do with a lost partnership...lost feelings and love. Like calling an old friend and realizing they dont live there anymore.
It had to do with tear-saturated pillows, meaningless one-night stands, empty inboxes, dreary photo-shoots...

It had to do with love.
I hear him take a sip from his fancy Japanese tea. A drop lingers on his lips and I want to cry.

"So, Daniel, how is it going in Brisbane? How's the band? I mean, you never ring me up anymore...I just wonder how you are." I try to sound cheerful...a little indifferent.
"Ah..well, you know....everything's fine...just moved in to my new house. Very nice. Nice hard....wood floors...nice. Everything's.."
"Lemme guess, nice?" I say.
We enjoy a fake laugh.
Did I just say "enjoy"? I bring up a new subject.
"You know, I had really hoped that before we broke up we could release Gunning Down Romance as a single. You know?" I look tentatively at him.
"Yeah, well, we just ran out of time." He doesn't like discussing Savage Garden.
"Daniel...what's happened to us? I mean, we can't even talk about ourselves! We've been in this place for 20 hours now and we've barely spoken a full conversation! What's the matter with me? What's wrong with YOU?"
He fumbles for a response....I guess surprised how blunt I am. My eyes wander around the room, falling on the white rice paper inkings of bamboo and whatnot with kanji lettering.
"Well, Darren, I've been wondering why we're here! We shared something, and it's over. I'm still your friend. Just....not what we were before. Okay?" I'm kind of hurt.....I've been preparing for this moment for an eternity...but here I am. Falling apart. Scattering on the tatami mats, slowly focusing the images of my future without Daniel. And I cry. Openly, and angrily.
"Darren.....c'mon, mate. Calm down. We knew it would happen." He sounds so convincing, friendly....so Jonesy-like.
"No...you knew it. I didn't. Why exactly did you want to leave Savage Garden?"
"I...because..it wasn't working for me. The publicity."
"I took all the publicity as best as I could. You know that too. Next."
"I was weary of the tour."
"You decided this before the tour, Danny."
"Okay, because I wanted to."
"Danny, someone doesn't leave a multi-million dollar band without a reason."
".........because I couldn't stand being near you."

Now we were getting somewhere.

"Why, Daniel? I thought we were best mates and.."
"Because we weren't best mates! We were...gay lovers."
I HATE that word.
"Why did homosexuality bother you, Daniel? It didn't ever bother you when you were screaming my name in our bedroom!" I was becoming bitter.
I saw him cringe a little. His memories are flowing. I wonder then if the tinge of electricity in my heart was from the wine or from the connection establishing itself back in our hearts.

"Darren...we were going separate ways. Really, there's nothing to argue about. Let's put it to rest and have a good trip."
"Daniel..." I wipe a tear off my face,"these tears wouldn't be here if there was nothing to argue about." Then I notice the almost invisible trail on his cheek. I move a little closer and touche his cheek. It's amazing, a sensation almost lost. "And yours either.."
He looks at me, swallowing me with a glistening jade green eye, lashes catching moisture gently. I form my pillowy lips into a small smile. He feels the importance of the moment, the weight of this decision.

And he falls into my arms.
I hold him like I hold onto my life. With sincerity.

Somehow, we move to the couch, lounging and looking at the soft twinkling stars above the soft twinkling city skyline, a brief line of dusky orange gracing the tips of the buildings, hilighting the dark black roofs, conforming them into one continuous shape. Right before I drift off, I look at the droopy sweet green eyes, meet them, sigh and kiss the soft lips.

"Jonesy....tomorrow...."
"Yes, Dazza?"
"I wanna dye my hair back black."
"Ok, Daz."