Love Me by Aerial Bard

Love me. You have destroyed everything! But if you love me, it can all be restored in a new form. Love me.
-The Vampire Lestat


Darren set the book down over his face, shuffling it around to block out the light streaming through the window, and breathed in the scent of old paper. His eyelashes brushed across the words he had just read, and he could recite the passage from these words alone, having read the book enough times that the corners were curled and faded, and crinkled white veins ran through the glossy red cover. Most often, though, he had read this page, entranced and deluded by the passionate words, the most intimate thoughts of a love that wasn't thought of as unnatural or wrong, but erotic and romantic and deep.
A love that existed entirely in this world, and not in his own.
Slowly, the book slid down so that his eyes could skim over the edge, immediately drawn to the blonde head on the other side of the room, barely visible from behind a stack of recording equipment, and engulfed in a thick set of headphones.
"Don't," he whispered softly to himself as his mind strayed to the world of passion he had just left. His own entreaty of love lingered at the edge of his lips, but he pushed it down, knowing he was only too caught up in the moment. "Armand doesn't get Lestat in the end, anyway..."
But it was pointless to convince himself as his eyes focused on Daniel's almost hidden face. The corner of his mouth was visible as he smiled at something he heard, and Darren's heart fluttered, hoping that maybe it was one of his lyrics or notes.
Suddenly, as if bidden by these thoughts, Daniel turned around, still smiling. Automatically, Darren swung his feet off the couch, as if that was the only thing he'd been caught doing, and hid his face in his book again.
"Interesting?" Daniel asked, a little too loudly.
"Very." Darren lifted his eyes from the page as if he'd just noticed him there.
Daniel narrowed his eyes, and Darren's pulse sped, wondering if he could see through his poised calm. But Daniel just chuckled and removed his earphones.
"Sorry," he grinned, his voice back at normal volume, and Darren stifled a sigh of relief. "Aren't you supposed to be working?"
"I am!" Darren protested, glad to be on a different subject... one he could lie about more easily. "I'm getting inspiration for lyrics."
Daniel walked the short distance from the keyboard to where Darren lay on the couch and removed the red book from his hands. Darren quickly yanked his finger out to hide which page he'd been lingering on.
"Anne Rice?" Daniel said doubtfully, "Should I be worried about what kind of inspiration you're getting from this?"
Darren rolled his eyes, and handed over the faded spiral he'd been writing on before he had become too entranced with the book. "You've never even read it."
"There's a dead guy in a coffin on the front." Daniel said pointedly. "I don't need to read the book to be worried."
"He's not dead, he's a vampire." Darren crossed his arms to attest his point and Daniel grinned at him before moving on, and skimming through the lyrics Darren had dotted through out the notebook.
"Not bad..." He said slowly, "Any ideas on what sort of tune you want with it?"
Darren sat up to get a better view of what he was reading. "Something... I don't know... funky."
"Funky?"
Darren nodded. "Yeah, like, Michael Jackson or something."
Shaking his head, Daniel tossed the spiral back down at him. "No more Anne Rice for you."
"Dan!" Scowling, Darren pushed off the couch, and followed him back to the keyboard, pulling the earphones off his head as soon as he put them on. Daniel glared, but Darren moved quickly in between him and the keyboard. "Fine, no Michael Jackson, but will you at least listen to what I've got?"
Daniel sat back in his chair, 'Impress me' written plainly on his face.
Realizing just how close he had gotten, Darren bit his lip and scooted away from the keyboard, his thighs dragging across Daniel's knees and sending shivers through his body. He glanced down at the lyrics he'd scribbled earlier that day, incomplete and without any distinguishable verses or chorus, and tried to pick something that would work with the tune in his head.
"You're never safe till you see the dawn, and if the clock strikes past midnight the hope is gone... to move under the moonlight..." He sang weakly, trying to make it sound low and sultry, but notes kept popping up into his falsetto as he worked to keep it mysterious-sounding.
He felt his cheeks turn red; embarrassed that it was the best he could come up with, and sank into a chair. He read over the lyrics again, cursing Anne Rice for making them sound so attractive at the time. Now they just sounded clunky and oddly placed.
"It's not so bad, when you put it that way." Daniel said, and Darren looked up to see the apologetic look on his face. "I don't know why you can't get your inspiration from normal places, but I guess it comes out sounding good, so I trust you."
Darren smiled slowly and Daniel shook his head. "What is with you today, Dar? Normally you'd be bouncing off the walls to get even a half-apology like that, but you're not even gloating about your musical superiority."
"I don't gloat!" Darren flared momentarily, then bit his lip and fell into a pout.
Daniel seemed to take this as further proof that something was wrong with him, and immediately stood up, slipping on his sandals from beside the chair and heading toward the door, a two step operation in their tiny apartment.
"Come on, get your shoes on." He announced.
Darren stared at him. "Where are we going?"
"Out." Daniel lifted the back of his chair to slide him out of it. "You're spending way too much time with those books. You're getting thoughtful and introspective... I hardly know you anymore!"
Darren rolled his eyes, but was interrupted before he could argue.
"Come on, we'll catch a movie or something. We can take a few hours off writing to have some fun." He grinned, "It's not like you were working anyway, you wrote those lyrics hours ago. I was watching."
Darren's heart leapt at the suggestion that Daniel was watching him before he could fight it down again, rolling his eyes at himself for the thought. Daniel held the door open for him, and Darren thoughtlessly slid past him, their sides touching for the briefest of seconds as they slipped into the apartment's hallway, but setting Darren's entire body alight. Air rushed into his lungs as he tried to regain control of his senses, following Daniel down the hall at practically a mile-wide gap to avoid further contact. Unfortunately, this gave him a rather good view of Daniel's lean body.
"S-so where are we going?" He asked, his voice betraying his struggle to control his thoughts.
Daniel turned, closing the gap between them, and cocked a wild grin. "Well, it's free day at the museum..."
"What happened to the movie?"
Shrugging nonchalantly, Daniel sped up again. "This is more educational."
"Dan..."
Darren ran into Daniel's abruptly stopped form, and skittered backwards as if burned. He faced him shyly, wondering if he'd even noticed, but Daniel had a different guilty expression on his face.
"Look, I didn't get paid again. That gig that Oli was going to have me play at fell through, and I'm running short this week."
"That-" He sighed, "Well, that's okay. We'll manage. I can get overtime at Woody's and-"
"Dammit Dar, I'm not going to let you support us." Daniel said vehemently, "I mean, I-" his hands fell to his sides hopelessly before cautiously reaching up and touching Darren's shoulder. "You're doing so much already, Dar, I'm not going to let you take up my slack."
Distracted by Daniel's touch and his sudden close proximity, Darren was almost too dazed to protest. But he felt Daniel's hand slowly slip away, and he impulsively reached up and clasped it with his own. "Dan, you're everything to this band. I couldn't even hope to be here, with us on the verge of a recording contract, without you. You're what's keeping me going in all of this. You-" He faltered, and let go of Daniel's hand with guilty reluctance, realizing how intimate his words had come out. "I guess I mean, I don't mind working over time, or cutting down on expenses, because I know it'll be worth it in the end."
He turned toward the wall to avoid Daniel's face, burning with the stupidity of his words, his actions. "Besides," he said to cover his embarrassment, "The museum really is more educational than that Bruce Willis flick."
Daniel chuckled, and Darren felt his arm pull him back around. He dared to look up at Daniel's face, so close to his own, and he could almost feel the weight of his next words, daring to hope that they could be as sincere and emotional as his were.
But Daniel just grinned, "Who said we be watching Bruce Willis, anyway?" He pushed Darren down the hallway with a flippant laugh. "Meg Ryan's newest movie is still showing."
Darren's neck tensed with disappointment that he refused to show, and he sped down the hall, making Daniel jog to keep up with him.
"Darren," Daniel's voice stopped him, and he turned to look. Daniel bit his lip, as if resisting the urge to say something about his strange behavior, and instead he moved closer, looking at Darren with thoughtful eyes. Darren stared back, searching for anything that would imply that he had felt the same way that he had a minute ago.
Nothing.
He pulled away. "Well it's a good thing we're not going to the movies then," he said, attempting a weak smile. "If you see 'Courage Under Fire' once more I think you'll be quoting the lines along with her."
"Darren," Daniel tied to pull him back, but he'd already headed down the stairs, gratefully escaping the confrontation.
"Come on Dan, the museum does close at seven," he called back coolly.
The muggy air outside did nothing to cool the emotions running through him, but he walked quickly anyway, staying a few careful steps away from Daniel. The younger man made no objections and they were each left to their own thoughts as they trudged across the city streets.
'I wonder if he even realizes how much he's toying with me when he does things like that?' Darren thought, as they turned a corner and he caught a glimpse of Daniel walking behind him. He shook his head sadly. 'No... How could he?'
"Darren?" He looked up abruptly as Daniel touched his shoulder.
"Yeah?" He asked sharply.
Daniel almost looked nervous as he gestured toward the cross-street he'd stopped at. "The station's that way."
Darren sighed and followed him, telling himself to stop acting so skittish before Daniel caught on to why he was really acting so distracted today. The bus station was only a block away, and there, at least, he could concentrate on something other than Daniel.
He sped up, eager to be free of Daniel's immediate presence, but received another odd look from Daniel that forced him to slow down. In silence they walked together, and Darren clamped his hands to his sides to avoid the kind of accidental touch that swinging arms usually led to. The last thing he needed right now was that kind of assault on his senses.
The station loomed ahead and Darren attempted small talk about which bus they needed to catch, but fell flat, unable to carry the conversation past the name of the station they were getting off at. He turned away, studying the metro area with excessive attention to avoid yet another sign that Daniel had noticed his odd behavior. The sideways glances, the subtle clearing of his throat, the quick blush at Darren's expense were all getting to be too much. Darren half wished Daniel would just point out Darren's behavior, instead of just going along with it. It would be easier to lie about what was going on than to try and cover up that it was going on at all.
But instead he stayed in restless agony until they reached the station. Then, like the sudden gush of cool air as the doors opened and air conditioning streamed out, his tension cleared and the bustle of the station filled his senses. He grabbed at Daniel's elbow to avoid getting lost, and a gracious smile kept his hand there as they fought through the crowd.
"The directory's over there," Darren pointed, and they side-stepped the rush of traffic exiting a bus and walked in relative peace to the map of bus routes. With the press of bodies around them gone, Daniel pulled farther away, and Darren reluctantly let his hand fall from Daniel's elbow.
"Sorry," he murmured, and quickly engrossed himself with the directory before Daniel could comment.
"Culture Centre Station," Daniel reminded him shyly, and shivers ran through Darren's back at the sound of his voice.
"Oh, right." He chuckled weakly, and moved to the south end of the map, combing the routes until he found one that connected with their station. "Uh, it looks like the 45 will take us there, or, wait, the 13 goes there without any other stops."
He turned back around and Daniel nodded, "Sounds good. I'll go check times."
Darren smiled until his back was turned, and then resisted the urge to slam his head against the directory. 'Damn it, Darren! There's no reason to get distracted over a pair of pretty green eyes... and a nice arse... and that hair...' He bit his lip, and turned away from Daniel's receding form. "Just get a hold of yourself," he whispered, resting against the cool metal sign.
"Darren?"
He yelped in surprise, banging is head against the sign it was resting against as Daniel's fingers brushed his shoulder. He turned around and met Daniel's worried eyes. "Sorry, you scared me," he said with a skittish chuckle.
Daniel laughed, "Sorry mate, I didn't mean to." He flattened his palm, grasping Darren's shoulder, and Darren jerked away involuntarily. Daniel pulled back, narrowing his eyes slightly, and shaking his head. "The train leaves in a few minutes," he said, turning away, "we should hurry."
Darren cursed himself once more before following behind him, jogging to catch up to his long steps, and meeting him again at the bus terminal. Without a word, Daniel deposited his change and sat down toward the back of the bus. Darren followed him despondently, and took a cautious seat beside him.
"Dan?"
Daniel sighed, and turned to face him. "You don't have to tell me what's wrong if you don't want to, Dar," he said softly, "but I took you out so we could have fun, and instead you're acting like I'm trying to attack you or something."
'I wish that was what you were doing...' Darren thought, before clamping down on his aroused thoughts and turning back to Daniel sheepishly.
Daniel sighed. "Maybe this was a bad idea. I should've just left you at home with your Anne Rice books."
"No, Dan-" Darren turned toward him, "I'm sorry. I'm just a little distracted today, you know, this recording deal has got me all hyped up." Daniel smiled and Darren nervously covered Daniel's hand with his own. "I'm having fun, I promise."
With a tense grin, Daniel moved the hand under Darren's to tousle his hair affectionately before curling it back toward himself. Darren sighed and crossed his arms over his lap, aware of Daniel's careful avoidance of his touch, and feeling as though his heart had been ripped away with Daniel's hand.
The rest of the bus ride was silent until Daniel quietly announced that they had reached the Culture Centre, and shuffled Darren off, following closely behind him.
"Wow," he said sheepishly, and Darren glanced at him for the first time since their conversation had stopped on the bus. "I don't think I've been here since I was a kid."
Darren looked up at the impressive white building, and nodded. "I remember going here when I was really little for a field trip, and then when I was about fifteen for a project in art class." He looked back at Daniel and shrugged, "I haven't been here since."
Daniel smiled warmly, "Let's go then."
The museum was alive with sounds of kids and their parents, and Darren felt out of place without a child tugging at his arm. They quickly walked through the animal exhibits where the floor was littered with screaming children and into the more subdued areas. Daniel grinned at Darren, "Wanna check out the Spain exhibit? Kid-free, I'm sure."
"As opposed to the interactive macaroni-art room?" Darren grinned, and followed him through the fluorescent-lit hallways and into a room lined with artwork and display cases.
Darren looked around half-heartedly, and Daniel poked at him. "Come on Darren, I thought you liked Spain. That's where all the vampires are from, right?"Hhe asked, accenting the word vampires with a cheesy roll of his r's.
Darren shook his head with a grin. "France, Dan. The Vampire Chronicles take place in France," he explained patiently.
"Oh," Daniel shrugged, and turned away.
"Well," Darren stopped him, "I'm sure there were Spanish vampires also. They couldn't have all lived in France."
Daniel grinned, and for a moment Darren was torn by the urge to touch him before quickly turning around to examine whatever as on the wall. His breath heaved raggedly as he struggled to compose himself, but before he had a chance, he felt Daniel's hand on his shoulder.
"Are you all right, Dar?"
"I'm-" Daniel's hand turned him around, and he stared into his eyes. Darren's mouth went dry, as the heat from Daniel's body drew closer to him. "I- Look!" He pointed quickly, and Daniel turned to the other side of the room as Darren slipped out of his hold, crossing to the opposite wall.
"The Savage Garden." He said quietly, walking toward the exhibit.
Daniel followed behind him, "No, that's the Garden of Earthly Delights." He said, reading the name off a place card stationed on the wall next to the painting.
Darren studied the triptych painting on the wall, oblivious to what Daniel said. "It's like the Savage Garden," he said, his fingers roaming an inch away from the design in the central panel. People and animals roamed across a fairy world in the center, and to the right - his eyes shifted to the next panel - Adam and Eve's paradise in Eden. He crossed back to the farthest panel, a clashing depiction of hell.
"It almost tells a story," he said softly to himself, "The original sin, the idyllic nature of life, the..." He paused. "The condemnation of living freely."
"What's the Savage Garden, Darren?" Daniel asked softly, and Darren reluctantly pulled away from the picture and found himself staring into Daniel's eyes, overwhelmingly close.
"It's beauty," he said softly, and Daniel stepped closer to him. "It's outside the concept of good and evil, a paradise unknowing of error or sin, but... not pure. Wild. Indifferently passionate." Words tumbled from his lips as Daniel moved even closer, his hand brushing Darren's arm.
"But there's hell in this picture," Daniel said, not breaking their closeness to gesture back at the painting. "Why is there punishment in a place with no sin?"
v "There's always consequences, Dan," Darren said, his lips almost brushing Daniel's as he spoke, then suddenly Daniel's lips were on his. White heat singed down his body as the sudden sensation of Daniel's mouth invaded his senses. He struggled for half a second before melting into the embrace, leaning in as Daniel's arms wrapped around him and opening his mouth. And suddenly a whole new world exploded as their tongues met, and teeth clashed in a battle to get closer.
Daniel pulled away suddenly, and Darren shivered from the loss of warmth.
"I- Oh, god," Daniel said, backing away, "I'm so sorry, Darren."
"W-What?" Darren stuttered.
Daniel stumbled backwards, running into a display case, "I didn't mean to... I thought..." He clutched at his shirt nervously, almost a parody of where his hand had been on Darren just a few moments ago, and Darren took an unconscious step backward, confused at Daniel's sudden change.
Daniel stammered out a quick excuse and bolted from the room, leaving Darren alone.
He stared at the doorway, his stomach twisting. A mother and her child entered the room and he stared at them for a moment before remembering where he was and quickly leaving before she could ask questions. Foggy and feeling almost delirious, he dashed blindly for the elevator, where he was free to collapse against the wall, clutching the railing and dragging in shaky breaths.
"He left."
His mind wrapped around the thought, unable to figure out what had just happened, or whether it had happened at all. All he could understand was that for a few moments he had been close and warm and happier than he could ever remember being. And now...
"He left."
The elevator shifted abruptly, and Darren cringed, realizing it had been called down to another floor. He lurched as the lift settled a floor lower and a wave of air swooped in with the next set of passengers. Stumbling out, some of the fog lifted as his thoughts settled on more human matters of embarrassment and confusion. And even that was momentarily cleared as he found himself wading through a crowd of children and exhausted parents, scattered randomly around the lobby in perpetual motion as they moved in and out of the exhibits.
Blinking in surprise, a slow smile overtook him despite the depression that threatened to encompass him. Children were running rampant around him, screaming and showing off the macaroni jewelry they had made, and somehow, like being greeted by an ever-happy dog after a long day at work, it cheered him. Almost enough to make him forget about the humiliation and anger he should be feeling, and follow the masses through the maze of beads and noodles displayed. Maybe it wasn't the Savage Garden - wild and passionate - but there was a preeminent feeling of love - chaste and innocent, but fierce. Love of parent to child, love that small children have for each other, and–
Darren was immediately drawn to the blonde head on the other side of the room, half-hidden behind a display case, but unmistakably Daniel. He struggled for a moment, unsure of whether to talk to him or not, when perhaps this was the very place Daniel had sought to avoid him. The decision was taken from him, however, as the blond head whipped around, as if drawn by his thoughts, and met Darren's eyes. A half-smile, a sort of shrug, an apology, and Darren found himself moving through the crowd helplessly, Daniel meeting him halfway.
"Hey." Darren stopped a few inches short, suddenly awkward.
Biting at his lower lip, Daniel nervously sought Darren's eyes. "I'm sorry."
Darren smiled slightly, and though he had no idea how the tables had turned to where Daniel was begging for Darren - or at least his forgiveness - he wasn't about to let them fall back into the self-deception they had started with. "For leaving?"
Daniel's face darkened in confusion for a moment, before brightening slowly with realization. "Yeah, for leaving."
"No worries, Dan." Darren smiled, resisting the urge to pull him close, though only because a dozen primary school kids surrounded them. He grabbed Daniel's arm instead, pulling him toward the exit. He'd waited too long for this to spend their first day together in a PG setting.
Catching on, Daniel sped up, grinning as they burst outside, the heatwave no longer muggy and oppressive, but warm as the pulled each other close.
"Darren, I've never-" He frowned. "What if we ruin what we have?"
Darren pulled him closer, rest of the world be damned as he whispered in his ear. "There are always consequences, Dan. But love me, and it can all be restored in a new form."