Let's Make It Clear by Sunhawk

(Dedicated to: Po, because every pairing deserves to have a shot and because I love your unique mind ;)
Thanks to: Raimm for countless beta's and loving feedback, to Whit and Tace for more beta help :))

A car sped by under the window, the reflected headlights bouncing off Daniel's ceiling and momentarily illuminating the room. Daniel shifted in the embrace of his girlfriend and turned his head towards the bedside clock with it's neon green numbers gleaming.

4:00 A.M.

He sighed and shifted back again, feeling the air leave his lungs yet still feeling tense and sleepless. It was silly really, his obscure hope that he would hear from his ex band mate, that a message would be passed to him, a phonecall jarring him awake at an insanely late hour because Darren always forgot about the time difference. It didn't matter that it had never crossed Daniel's mind that perhaps it would be better if he called the singer, it wasn't his style, not the way he did things with anyone. Darren, on the other hand, was well known for calling and dropping by at the strangest times to discuss a new song or new look or new idea he had.

It appeared there was nothing left to say. Not even on the "anniversary" of their break up.

//Well I guess he doesn't consider this to be the real date, seeing as he seems to believe I broke up the band months before that...years even.....and I can't even remember what time he's referring to!//

Daniel closed his eyes and felt moisture trickling along his lashes but refused to let them do more than glimmer.

A sudden dull spasm of despair mixed with weariness spread through Daniel and he grimaced silently, keeping his eyes closed, trying to let the oblivion of dreams overtake his stupid emotional state and shut him up for the night.

//I don't even know what we would talk about...I don't really want to talk about the past...And I certainly get to hear about his future more often than I care to....But just so I can feel remembered... for one minute of the day....//

Eventually he fell asleep, but it was an uneasy sleep that felt more like slowly drowning, dragging Daniel away...

***********

The landscape was somewhere between a dreamy and dreary blue. Daniel looked around himself and wondered at his surroundings. Normally his dreams were never very clear or coherent...nor was he ever this aware that he WAS indeed in a dream. Daniel felt a moment's concern, then shrugged as he normally would at strange things, his lack of concern an old habit.

He walked down the dusty path at his feet, letting the sights of the pale azure forest distract him from his emotional state. He passed great big grey trees and little sky blue scraggly saplings, silver stones and indigo bushes; the monochrome scheme seeming to change in very illogical ways defiant of size or shadow. Then Daniel remembered this was a dream and chuckled quietly, because dreams rarely made logical sense.

After walking what felt like hours and starting to feel a bit worn out, Daniel found the path opening up into a small glade and paused to beat the dust from his t-shirt and faded jeans. The glade had an equally small stream at its center and Daniel shuffled his way over to tiredly sit on a nearby fallen log, watching the water rush by with a blank expression on his face. The cheerful sound of the babbling brook was in poignant contrast to how dark his mood was. Even here, all he could think of was how he had been forgotten or, worse; purposely ignored.

//What is the point of going to sleep if you can't even escape your thoughts in your dreams?//

Daniel growled under his breath and roughly wiped at his eyes as he felt something wet slip down one cheek. Shaking his head once very quickly, so that his shaggy blond hair whipped from side to side, Daniel put his hands to his face and tried to take deep breaths with his head bowed towards his bent knees.

"Oh!" A delicate yet deep exclamation, almost like a sigh, startled Daniel and he recoiled slightly, turning in the direction of the sound. For one wild moment, he thought it was Darren who had stumbled upon him, that this was a dream of wish fulfillment to nurse his hidden hurts and he and Darren would get to actually talk, even if it wasn't real. Daniel paused in his black mood and carefully peered across the glade, heart in his throat.

But it wasn't Darren.

Oh, the figure paused at the glade's entrance was pale enough to be Darren, and he was slender in a way that strongly reminded Daniel of Darren those years back when they were living together in that ratty apartment. But though Darren was now fond of sporting his hair blond and curly, he could never match the white-blond or cherub curling of the hair that the surprised figure sported, nor were his eyes the same color as Darren's. Instead, they were a green that wasn't even the same as Daniel's own emerald hues; they reminded Daniel of dew-covered, mint-colored lichen and were quite large.

Embarrassed to be caught unguarded by a stranger and stabbed by disappointment, Daniel looked away, then found his gaze straying back as he heard footsteps being made in his direction. Once again he was startled by what he saw, this time able to focus on what the slight man was wearing and not just his face.

And once again Daniel had to remind himself that this was a dream, because what he saw was so bizarre. With narrowed eyes, he took in the combination of black leather skirt with dark leggings, strangely-ordered black straps over an otherwise-uncovered chest, big black worker's boots that were currently clomping his way and, strangest of all, some of the leather straps seemed to attach a small pair of pristine white wings to the new arrival's back. Daniel blinked and sat frozen with surprise as the stranger walked right next to him, only to stop a foot or two away.

"Well I never expected to meet anyone else in this place." The stranger spoke quietly, his voice unexpectedly deep for one so slight. Daniel wasn't even sure the man came up to his shoulder yet he had a vibrant melodious sound to his speech, coupled with a deep British accent.

"I don't know where I am." Daniel said without much inflection, looking downwards at the little clouds of floating dust that had been kicked up. "I found this path and got lost in the forest. Sorry to intrude."

"Oh I don't mind the company, it's a little refreshing than being here by myself so often." The winged man sounded shy yet friendly enough so Daniel relaxed a little, meeting those pale green eyes for the first time.

"What is this place?" He asked.

"I always thought it was some place that I'd made up in my head, but now I'm not so sure..." came the rueful reply. Daniel weakly chuckled as they both considered each other with a dubious air.

"So which of us is the dream and which is the dreamer?" Daniel asked, turning slightly and shifting over as the diminuitive newcomer made himself comfortable on Daniel's log. Green eyes met green eyes as a contemplative silence enfolded them, and Daniel felt a shiver tickle down his back as he realized that the stranger's eyes possessed a sense of age to them that stood in stark contrast to his youthful, boyish appearance. Those eyes alone were much too real to simply be a figment of his imagination.

"I'm Daniel." He said abruptly, feeling the need to assert his existence. It was his companion who blinked this time around.

"I'm Mart, pleased to meet you." They shook hands in a manner that seemed almost absurdly normal in comparison to their strange surroundings; a slow thoughtful gesture.

"So are you a songwriter too? Or maybe a poet?" Mart asked unexpectly. It was Daniel's turn to blink again as he registered the question and idly rubbed his long neck with the hand he had used to shake with.

"Uh, I do write music but I'm not much of a lyricist..." Daniel started, then remembered the "too" and turned his answer into another question. "Wait, you're a songwriter? How did you know I make music?" Mart looked a little embarrassed and pushed a stray blond curl out of his eyes, then reached over and gently turned over Daniel's hand so that it lay palm up, his fingertips softly brushing on Daniel's slender fingers as Mart straightened them.

"You've got callouses like I do, that's why I thought you were a musician more than poet. And since I seem to come here every time I'm stuck with a song, I thought maybe you did the same...you sure you've never been here before?" Mart looked at him curiously, leaning one arm against the log and his full lips tilted in a smile. Daniel looked at his fingertips then looked back at the strange angel beside him and shook his head, dark-gold hair momentarily falling into his eyes.

"Can't say I have, mate, can't say I have. And I haven't been working on my music for weeks...I guess maybe that's why I'm here...I don't even have any good melodies in my head anymore to puzzle over...haven't had anything decent since he left..." Daniel drifted off, his black cloud momentarily putting a faint crease of pain between his eyebrows.

"Since who left?" Mart's innocent question broke into his brooding, as he watched Daniel with thoughtful eyes. Daniel's glance back at him was shuttered; annoyance spread through him for slipping, yet he couldn't stop his hands from tightening into the bark beneath them until it cracked.

"Darren, my band mate." Daniel replied shortly, looking straight ahead at nothing. "Our band broke, he's doing his own thing, it's no big deal. He was simply very talented at singing and I guess I am still getting used to not working with him anymore." Again he was reluctant to share his feelings at all, let alone with a stranger, yet the sour taste at the back of his mouth was making it difficult to keep up his normal uncaring appearance.

"It hurts when the spotlight steals them away, doesn't it?" Mart said but the softness of his voice didn't stop Daniel from jumping at the waifish man's apparent ability to see straight into his heart. The tall guitarist's eyes went wide, feeling his gaze being forcibly pulled back to Mart.

"What are you talking about?" He asked, hoping he had misheard. Mart's pixie face had a knowing look that confused Daniel and he was torn between backing away from Mart and moving closer.

"Singers, Dan. Those who become the face, the voice. They all run the same risk the minute they stand in front, whether it's on the stage or in front of the cameras, it changes them. You watch them get pulled out of your reach and then you pull even further back to try to save yourself." Mart's hypnotic voice seemed to bring a hush into their glade, the pervasive feeling of dream flooding Dan's senses.

"How would you know?" Daniel demanded harshly, almost against his will, actually moving closer this time. His eyes blazed with a mix of shock and sudden rage, feeling almost like Mart was saying dangerous things, better left unsaid, better not made into truth. Daniel shuddered slightly, as if those words skirted the edge of an inner storm he did not want to be pulled into, yet he squarely met Mart's luminous cat-like eyes, delicately accented with kohl, so like and unlike his own. Mart was tranquil in the face of Daniel's anger, a pale elfin statue who did not recoil from the tall, intimidating ragged scarecrow figure looming toward him.

"Because I have my own singer, Daniel." Mart replied, his smile tinged with a strangely familiar tenderness. "You and me have something in common, maybe more than you think. What is yours like, your singer Darren? Is he a handful?"

Daniel felt a small smile reluctantly tugging at his thinly pressed lips, thinking of Darren all wound up about his food or his hotel room or where were his shoes, his blue eyes flashing. "Yeah, he is."

"Impulsive?"

"Definitely." Daniel now grinned, his mental eyes on Darren guiltily coming back on the tour bus with his arms full of Starwars action figures. Mart shared his grin, eyes dancing as he pulled up one knee casually between his pale arms, his big boot muffledly clunking against the log.

"Impressionable?"

Daniel's smile faded as he thought of Darren swallowed up by the superficial world of Hollywood, his innocent love of pop and flash leading him thousands of miles away from his real home, surrounded by people with fake smiles and even faker promises; sugar-spun lies to which Darren had little defense and much vulnerability. That absurd mix of naïvete and stubbornness where Darren let himself be led along and bled dry in ways much more important than money, because Darren wanted and needed to believe everyone was his best friend. It was people like that who probably had helped convince Darren to forget about his former band mate, who told Darren he was better off without him, and the frustration of it all was a sullen burn in the pit of Daniel's stomach.

After a moment, Daniel closed his eyes and just nodded, not wanting Mart to see the hot warmth he could feel in the corners of his eyes, making them smart in tiny pinpricks. Then he felt a gentle touch on his bare arm: a slow, soothing pat that stopped before Daniel had a chance to feel uncomfortable, just comforted. Daniel took a deep breath as quietly as he could and resolutely turned back towards Mart, keeping his eyes narrowed more than their usual slim wont in a feeble attempt at some kind of shield.

"How did you lose yours?" Daniel asked, reading between the lines and trying to turn the tables a little. Mart wasn't the only one who could stir up old memories with innocent questions. The pale blond licked his lips but met Daniel's narrowed eyes squarely.

"Drugs, overdose, he actually died for almost five minutes." Mart replied starkly, and Daniel wondered at the calm tone of his voice. How could he say that so easily? The guitarist almost felt ashamed of his desire to get as good as he had got in their conversation, because no matter how cold or distant Darren had gotten, you don't get any more cold or distant than death.

"You were there when it happened?" Daniel's voice was curious and sympathetic by turns, trying to imagine what that was like, even as he scooted a little closer to Mart. But Mart's look went suddenly fragile and sparkling like frost on those big green orbs of his.

"No..." Mart whispered, smiling in a painful, wry manner. "I was on the other side of the world. With my wife." Daniel sucked in a hissing breath through his teeth, eyes wide. Images of himself in bed (as he must have surely been at this very moment) in the trusting embrace of his girlfriend flashed through Daniel's mind. And with them, the familiar mix of guilt and confusion churning his stomach until Daniel felt light-headed.

"And where is your 'singer' now?" Daniel felt the question drag out of him, past the dark weight in his gut, skating an edge they both shared where the singing wasn't really the focus of their conversation. Once again Mart's posture changed, the vulnerability replaced by a joy so radiant that it almost hurt to look at his smile.

"He's waiting for me on the other side of this place, like he does every night." was all Mart said and *that* hurt to hear. Daniel's anger, the aimless serpent in the back of his head, suddenly found a target as he ground his teeth, feeling very black and wondering why Mart got what Daniel never had a chance at!

He glared at Mart, who raised blond eyebrows at him and tilted his wildly curled head. "How is that possible? What about your *wife*, eh?" Daniel barked. Mart winced and Daniel's lips twitched in a pardody of a smirk. But after taking a moment to compose himself, twisting his fingers in one hand, Mart gave Daniel a thoughtful look, taking the guitarist aback.

"I chose *him*, Dan. The same way you want to choose Darren, I suspect."

"Choose him how?" Denial was automatic as Daniel looked away blankly, trying to fill his gaze with the innocent scenery around them. He even tilted his wrist to check his non-existent watch as he too-casually leaned back.

"Daniel." Green clashed with green again as Daniel reluctantly turned his eyes back at the quiet command in Mart's voice.

"No more hiding behind our musical roles, no more wordplay. We both know that we share a love for people that have blessed us with their blinding light while they dazzle us with their talent. I was lucky enough to catch on that there were risks I had to take if I wanted to get Dave back," Daniel blinked as he realized this was the first time Mart had mentioned his singer's name. "You are going to have to decide whether the risks are worth it in order to get Darren, and no one can make that decision for you." Mart's complete frankness drove Daniel into a mild panic as he stood abruptly and his arms moved in a warding motion almost instinctively.

"You don't know what you are talking about, Darren is just my band mate, or my best friend, ex best friend.." Daniel stammered, only to find himself silenced by Mart's determined step off of their shared log and firm grip on his shoulder. Even though he topped the leather-clad source of discomfort by a good few inches at least, Daniel found himself unable to pull away as Mart's generous lips thinned to a straight line. In that moment, Daniel's earlier impression of hidden maturity in Mart that far surpassed his own even as it belayed Mart's soft features, came into play again and he submitted to Mart's gentle push downward back onto the log.

"Listen, I know how hard it can be to speak your mind, your *real* thoughts, to those around you. It's been my own curse for many, many years." Mart paused to chuckle for a moment, keeping his hand on Daniel's shoulder. "Maybe that is why we are here, because we're...not soulmates..." Daniel watched Mart struggle for words. "...More like...soulbrothers. Yeah, that sounds about right." This time, Mart's smile reached out and encompassed Daniel in a warmth that supported and brought him close.

"And I know what it's like to do odd things; stare up at the sky and wonder how you drifted so far apart, to watch them walk down the hall and want to do nothing more but follow behind." Mart continued, his thumb rubbing Daniel's shoulder in a hypnotic motion. "If the look on your face is any indication, you've done a lot of wondering and worrying." Mart's hand moved to Daniel's face and his thumb smoothed Daniel's brow lovingly, as if the lanky Aussie was a frightened kitten. It wasn't too far from the truth, Daniel belatedly realized, as he shivered and shook with surpressed emotion.

"You're right." Daniel's words were barely audible. "God, you are right about everything...I love Darren...I fucked it up...I fucked it all up..." And with that admission, Daniel collapsed in on himself; the inner storm of roiling emotions that he had mentally escaped before reaching out to pull him in and rip him apart. Feeling as if his bones were no longer able to hold him up, Daniel wrapped his arms around his knees and let a few bitter tears burn their way down his face. Mart's hands slid around his sides and pulled him close. Daniel let himself succumb to the comfort of Mart's embrace, curling against his pale chest like a child as his body shook. After a few dim moments, Daniel felt the worst of his remorse slowly trickling out of him and his shaking eased, letting him catch his breath as he slumped slightly in Mart's arms. Mart, who'd kept blessedly silent, continued to hold him gently, as if Daniel were a delicate day-old chick and not a nearly-thirty Australian goldenboy. Daniel became aware of the smooth, slightly damp skin against his cheek and absently moved his cheek against it, only to stop and blush when he became aware of what he was doing.

Clearing his throat, Daniel awkwardly tried to pull away but Mart would only let him get so far, keeping his hands loosely on the guitarist's arms as he smiled at Daniel. When he caught sight of Daniel's reddened cheeks, his smile grew into quiet chuckling that rumbled in the chest that had caught Daniels' tears.

"So what do I do now?" Daniel said, trying to distract Mart from his unexpected blush. To his surprise, Mart's chuckling continued as a smirk flickered on his face.

"Isn't it obvious? You have to let Darren know, that's what you have to do." Mart's green orbs twinkled at Daniel. The lanky guitarist looked doubtful, unconsciously biting his slender bottom lip and unaware of Mart casually watching the gesture.

"He won't believe me, I'm pretty sure. I don't even think he'll hear me out if I try to talk to him."

"Then you have to *make* him believe, Dan. You have to use more than just words." Mart said softly. Daniel bit his lip harder and turned eyes toward the shorter musician that were a lot more vulnerable than Daniel was probably aware of.

"How?" Daniel whispered. Mart shifted and leaned forward, keeping eyecontact with Daniel so that the Aussie bloke was again mesmerized by the depth of Mart's gaze.

"Like I did...by *showing* him..." Mart's deep voice dropped an octave until it was almost a purr. "...Like this..." He completed his leaning forward and tilted his head so that he caught Daniel unawares in a sudden kiss. Daniel's slanted eyes went wide and he would have pulled away in shock except that he was simultaneously hit by the fact that Mart's kiss felt really *good*. Before he knew what he was doing, Daniel felt himself relax and close his eyes as Mart expertly deepened the kiss, nose to nose with Daniel so that their respective pale and tanned complexions, dark blond and white-blond hair, stood out in almost stark contrast. Daniel felt a gentle hand cup the side of his jaw as Mart's tongue worked in his mouth in a way that was so similar yet so blindingly different from every kiss he had ever shared with his girlfriends. And the lust Daniel felt was different too, like...like hearing the same song in a different key, playing the same music with a different instrument. His senses were left scattered from the tidal wave of surprise, leaving him feeling dizzy and tumbled.

When Mart pulled back and examined Daniel's reaction, Daniel blinked and took a deep breath, trying to regain his composure while rocking back on the log with his mouth left open ever so slightly and his bottom lip shiny.

"Uh...wow." was all Daniel could weakly manage and he mentally cursed that intelligent remark. "That was...um...quite persuasive. I can see how that worked...Er, yeah." Mart smiled at the dazed look on Daniel's face as Daniel absently ran a hand through his hair, mussing it and then smoothing it flat again. Then Daniel's gaze sharpened and he looked again at Mart with an urgent look, the lines in the guitarist's normally faintly craggy face softened with uncertain need until he seemed years younger.

"I need to learn how to..." Daniel blushed, then stubbornly continued. "How to kiss like that, to show Darren...how I feel and...Can you...Would you teach me?" Daniel's body was tense and though he didn't look away again, his eyes showed Mart that Daniel's admission of ignorance embarrassed Daniel, made him even a little bit ashamed. Yet Daniel sat waiting for Mart's answer, knowing that any shame would be worth it if it meant he could win Darren back. He HAD to win Darren back.

And Mart also saw that strength shining in Daniel's eyes, determination battling with fear in a way that was so familiar to the petite musician. His pixie face softened as Mart was reminded just how apt his own words were, for here indeed was his spiritual twin sitting in front of him. Willing to risk, desperate to not fail, yet frightened of succeeding as well. How could Daniel think he could ever deny such need? It would be like turning away from himself and all he held dear, it would be worse than lying to himself.

"It would be my pleasure, Dan." Mart replied before Daniel had a chance to take his silence as a negative. Daniel rocked back on his arms again, hope and disbelief flickering in his face.

"Are you sure?...Dave won't, uh, mind?" Daniel tentatively persisted. Mart grinned and leaned back on his own arm, looking highly amused again.

"Oh I don't think so, he's the one who taught me a thing or two after all." Mart said confidently, then his expression turned sly. "And don't forget, this is all just a dream, isn't it?" His smirk teased a smile out of Daniel and the guitarist relaxed again as the smile grew into a grin.

"Cor, you're right! This IS just a dream!" Daniel's sunbeam smile flashed at Mart as his sea-green eyes sparkled and the black-strapped Brit knew that, even without his help, he couldn't see any reason for this Darren fellow to need much convincing once Daniel told him the truth.

After a moment, Daniel blinked then looked concerned.

"But if this is a dream, how do we know I'll remember any of this when I wake up?!" Daniel looked genuinely disturbed at the idea and Mart couldn't blame him. Daniel's expression almost looked frantic until Mart's deep chuckling startled him out of his rising panic. Confusion once again claimed Daniel as he glanced over at his companion as Mart scooted closer to him on the log.

"Well..." Mart said languidly, "We'll just have to make sure this is a dream you just *can't* forget, won't we?" And his soft lips smirked again, this time with a sultry quirk that turned him from a simple leather-clad pixie into a definite sex kitten. Daniel's look at the half-lounged, barely-clad musician was full of appreciation as he took his turn at chuckling quietly before leaning over and taking his turn to initiate the liplock. Eagerness and good humour danced in Daniel's eyes before he let them drift closed, focusing on letting his mouth do the work. And this time it was Mart who nearly stiffened in shock and a long moment later he blinked at Daniel as they paused to take a breath.

"Oh my...a fast learner are we?" Mart lightly remarked, a flush tickling his pale cheeks. Daniel waggled his eyebrows and grinned.

"Always have been." was Daniel's cheeky response. Mart's eyes glinted.

"Oh really? Well, let's see how quickly you pick up the rest!" And he kissed Daniel again before the lean guitarist could react to his words, grabbing the back of his neck and massaging the short, tickly hairs there as his tongue danced with Daniel's. Daniel, his surprise fading one last time as lust gained a permanent upper hand, moaned softly and pulled Mart close by his black straps before letting his hands slowly roam the warm skin of Mart's chest that was smoother than even the worn leather of his attire. His fingertips even gently flicked from feather to feather on Mart's white wings as Daniel explored Mart's back as thoroughly as he had Mart's front.

As they shifted closer to each other and began to move in instinctive patterns and heated rhythms, neither man noticed how the silver and blue forest surrounding them began to shift. The colours warmed and melted until the blue turned into a gentle red, leaving the preoccupied couple bathed in a pink glow that masked the flushed heat rising in their cheeks and the slowly growing areas of exposed skin.

The babbling brook beside them masked the sibilant gasps and moans that gradually increased in frequency like water tumbling down a steep slope. And then the silent forest rustled into unexpected birdsong, a gentle blossoming of sound that almost discreetly covered the sound of two deep voices raggedly crying out. Unconcerned dreambirds flitting past two prone figures lying in a panting, contented heap in the partial shadow of a fallen log, the pace of their gasps for air mimicking the rapid wingbeats of the pale birds as they darted into the open, strawberry-colour sky and were gone...

***********

** Beep! ** Beep! ** Beep! **

Daniel's alarm clock gave a last firm eletronic buzz before automatically switching onto the nearest radio station where a too-cheery DJ was rapidly rambling about how good the morning was and other such typical DJ patter.

Daniel blinked sleepily and glanced blankly at the clock as the radio station abruptly cut off the DJ's words and started to play a vaguely familiar song with sampled sounds and a slow beat. hile the song played on, Daniel shook his head ever so slightly, trying to recall the frazzled edges of a vivid dream. He remembered green eyes...eye liner...a forest...and...something...

He growled under his breath in frustration as the rest eluded him, feeling the memory slip between his fingers, and it was important that he remember!

//But why? Dammit, why?!//

Then the deep voice of the song on the radio caught his attention and Daniel found himself pausing as he caught a snatch of the lyrics that went with the mellow, languid melody.

** "And I'm only here...to bring you freelove...let's make it clear...that this is freelove...no hidden catch...no strings attached...just freelove..." **

And Daniel smiled as his dream suddenly came back to him, as if the radio had opened a door in his mind, given him a gift from his own heart. He remembered Martin, he remembered their meeting, remembered his words. And he also remembered what Martin had taught him.

Daniel carefully and gently slid from the loose embrace of his still-sleeping girlfriend as he turned off the radio and picked up the cordless phone. He dialed Darren's number as he silently walked out of the bedroom, his fingers pressing the numbers in quick succession as if he still talked to Darren every day, like he used to.

It was time to make things clear.