The Truth Inside Your Eyes by EvenStar

That shining, pearlescent pout, pursed into an inviting curl halfway between confusion and concentration, was the first thing Daniel noticed as he walked into the room. The once dark-haired dollboy, his diva, was stood directly in front of the full-length mirror, gaze squinted and charged with scrutiny, as he took what he thought was a private moment to survey his appearance.

His hands were buried in that now golden hair, shifting the glossy locks, a tube of styling gel on the table by his side, ruffling the natural waves into fashionable spikes. His stare narrowed again as he checked his reflection, obsessing over every detail, leaving no stretch of skin and no molecule of flesh unseen.

To any other onlooker, with the compulsive attitude and devilish good looks coupled with the incessant need to check his hairstyle every two seconds, it would have seemed like an obvious display of vanity. The beauty that was Darren, gazing almost lovingly at himself, before walking out and expecting everyone else to do the same. An ego trip of the highest degree.

But Daniel knew better.

One look at Darren's eyes - a real look, an unbridled measure of his activities, not merely a passing glance - and it was there. The eyes held it. The pupils widely dilated and tired, enhancing the natural summer sky blue, with a hint of cloudy grey. Those eyes could change all colours - right through to light, dancing green and back down to deep, haunting hazel - depending on Darren's clothes, or his mood. Now they were the lightest they had ever been, diluted into weak blue, devoid of the greatest sparkle or charm.

This was no ego trip. This was a moment of self-assessment. Of wonderment over worth and meaning. Darren was not in love with his reflection. His face reflected the opposite. The constant flicking of his fingers through his hair, perfecting the look, blinking continuously and pursing those lips, was merely a sign of his need to convince himself of his own beauty. To make himself so perfect physically that it would perhaps make up for the lesser emotional void.

And he had always been this way, even back in the days, when his diva-like tendencies and playful over-use of his status as the attention seeker of the band had created a false impression of his own self-assurance.

Again, Daniel knew better. There were insecurities, and there was knowledge of his imperfections, not only physical but spiritual. Daniel's sudden realization came to him in a poetic thought - Darren's soul was fragmented. Something didn't fit, and there was a space in the cavern of his heart.

Even the sounds of screaming fans and confessions of everlasting love for his artistic ability couldn't fill that space.
For a moment Daniel dreaded speaking his name, having him turn around and look upon him with an emotion he couldn't yet foresee. Truth be told, the notion that Darren might look upon him with hate was actually the best outcome he could so far imagine.
The thing Daniel feared was to face him, to have him stare at him with love in his eyes. All the love that he had collected along the way, taken years to gather and was just waiting to release it again into the world. The love that was free for anyone to take, and Daniel wasn't quite sure he would be able to resist it.

After those agonizing few moments of staring observantly at Darren's antics, Daniel tapped his foot impatiently. It was time.
"Darren...?" The question mark that sat on the end of his tone was barely there, but still unavoidable.

The sound of Darren drawing in a sharp, hesitant breath met Daniel's ears and the otherwise empty room was so silent you could have heard a pin drop. The air was thick and suffocating.
He watched as Darren turned, very slowly, and looked in those eyes for evidence of what he had feared.
There was bewilderment, and joy, but the happiness was truly suppressed, held back within Darren's features as he bit his lip nervously.

Daniel took a moment to drink in his full appearance. Long gone the eclectic pop art style of the old days, there was no New Romantic inspiration, no extravagance here. Just jeans, clinging tight to his legs like he was made to advertise them, a dark blue T-shirt with a smart slogan on it that Daniel didn't take enough time to recognize. That hair was now settled into something that looked effortless despite the fact it had taken him several minutes to do it.

And all traces of the old Darren, were gone. No nail polish - Daniel silently chuckled to himself as he remembered that phase. A true aspect of many of the past styles of Darren. You either loved it or you hated it. Though Daniel had loved it, as he had loved every other stage Darren had been through.

Daniel could note the tiny things - like the insistent twitching of Darren's fingers and the way his chest moved up and down when he breathed. Even those were things he'd missed.

The walls around them seemed to echo as he waited impatiently for Darren's reply. If, indeed, he was going to give one at all. How did Daniel know what his reaction would be? It had been a while. A long while. Speaking terms as they were had disintegrated into emails that were few and far between. And there had been months since they had last spoken, of that he was sure. He'd been hopeful somehow, that Darren would have maybe contacted him before or during his long sabbatical. He wasn't sure exactly why. Through all these months since the split and the parting of their ways, they'd never felt the dominant need to catch up on gossip. They were never like that. The type of couple who even when together, could sit in a room so comfortably without even speaking. Words were never that important between them. Interaction and emotion was. The music a perfect metaphor for their sexual collaboration. Both different but coming together in a wonderful union.

Daniel shook himself. Already his thoughts were whirling him back in time to the old days and fond remembrance of that period of his life. He closed his eyes to shut Darren out, then opened them again, trying to bring himself back to reality. He made his way back to the moment in hand, surveying Darren's stance as he stood a few feet in front of him.

"Daniel," Darren said, the voice which came out of his mouth holding vague surprise and other tones Daniel couldn't define. He noted he used his full first name as opposed to "Dan", or "Danny", not too unusual perhaps, but still, he noticed it.

"What are you doing here?" The question shot through Darren's lips more quickly that Daniel expected it would.
Daniel could only manage a half-hearted shrug, his reasons for being here weren't even all that clear to him. He knew Darren would become annoyed, however, if he refused to answer, so he made an effort to explain. "I wanted to come and see you."

Perhaps the lamest excuse in the world, but at least it was something.
Hopefully, because Darren simply nodded. Then there was something that Daniel found slightly hurtful. The look of indifference on his face.
Indifference was something Daniel hadn't expected to see and it shocked him for a moment. No reaction, to Daniel travelling all the way here just to see him? No reaction to his sudden and unannounced arrival?

"Why?" The next question to leave Darren's mouth caused even more hurt to stir within Daniel. The tone this time was even, but also slightly menacing, challenging, genuinely suspicious.
Darren, his Darren, thought he had an ulterior motive?

"Just that," Daniel replied, making his way through the immediate hurt and saying it rather bluntly. "I wanted to see you, that's my only reason."

Darren seemed to register it. "You came all this way...just to see me?" He asked, confused and still not fully convinced this was the only reason. "Is there something wrong?" He added before Daniel could reply.

Daniel frowned briefly. "No, there's nothing wrong," he lied. It was a lie because there was something wrong, but he wasn't sure if it was only him who saw it that way. He looked again into Darren's eyes and for a moment there was something new dancing there, vulnerability of the highest order. It faded though, and he continued. "You don't seem very surprised to see me."

"I am," Darren said immediately. Daniel watched as he subconsciously rubbed the tips of his fingers together, remnants of the gel sticky on each one. A long pause. "Of course I'm surprised. I haven't heard from you in a while," he noted.

Daniel knew this of course, and he nodded. Darren absent-mindedly reached again for the tube of gel, twisting it open and squirting a huge amount of the clear substance onto his hand. He rubbed it slightly between his fingers, wanting to occupy his hands, lifting them slowly and burying them again deep in his hair.
Daniel winced. Too much gel, though Darren didn't seem to care, the glue-like stuff beginning to stiffen his hair as opposed to merely holding it in place. Not interested in recognizing the overkill, Darren continued, fiddling with his style as long as he could, anything to avoid the awkward silence that often went hand in hand with standing there doing nothing.

"Did Leonie let you in?" He turned gently away, looking back into the mirror, frowning lightly at the appearance of his now sticky hair.
"Yeah."
"What did she say to you?" Darren reached for his comb and began to tease out some of the spikes. What he wouldn't give to have Troy here at this moment.

"Not much," Daniel's voice was low and quiet. "What I expected really."
Darren nodded, intent, it seemed, on his hairstyle as his eyes stayed fixed on the mirror. He could see Daniel in the reflection, standing behind him, upright and tense.
There was a deep, penetrating silence that shot through the room, angering Darren to the core. He hated silences like these. More than that, he hated himself for creating them. His frustration showed in his eyes as he turned back to Daniel, placing down the comb and folding his arms in front of him defensively.

"I hate to rush you, mate, but I'm gonna have to go soon."
"What?" Daniel frowned.
"I have a few things scheduled today," Darren explained. Without even noticing he picked up the comb again and fingered it, squeezing it between his hands.
"Oh." Daniel looked down at his feet, scuffed them on the floor.
Darren sniffed rather impatiently. "I'm really sorry, Dan, I'd like to catch up if you fancy that...but I'm really busy."
His almost immediate dismissal was almost enough to make Daniel cry. Despite the emotional barrier he was so used to structuring when it came to Darren, he decided he'd take the chance.

"There was a song," he said suddenly. Darren looked up from staring monotonously at his comb.
"A song called 'Where You Want To Be'." Daniel pressed. Subconsciously his limbs let him begin to pace the room. Darren stayed still, watching. "It was a B-side to a single, I can't remember which one," he added. "It made me think."

"Right," Darren responded, his tone implied he wasn't sure where Daniel was going with this, but truth be told he had an inkling. He swallowed. The thought of Daniel listening to his CDs always sent a shiver down his spine. He felt an intense vulnerability, like someone had been reading his diary. "It made you think of what?" He probed.

"Who it was about," Daniel breathed, pausing for a second and looking at him. Even now to Darren those emerald depths were enough to make his heart skip a beat. He blinked and tried to shake it off, but he couldn't. "Who was it about?" Daniel pushed.

A pause, and Darren sucked in a deep breath before turning back again to the mirror, finding faith in his own steel-eyed stare. "Colby," he said bluntly.
"Oh, right," Daniel blinked, observing him. "Because I thought maybe..."
"You thought, what did you think?" Darren's voice was sudden and cutting as he spun around.
Daniel shuddered at his slicing tone. "I...I don't know, Daz..." He glanced away, humbled. "I'm sorry."
"No need," answered Darren. "Is that all you came to ask?"
The harshness felt like a slap in the face to Daniel. "You know that's not the only reason I'm here."
Darren glared hard, face twisted into a mask of frustration and hurt. "Don't play cryptic mind games with me, Daniel. I don't have the time or the patience."
"Look, I don't know where you're getting this from but I..."
Darren cut him off. "What makes you think you have the right to impose on me like this without warning?"

Daniel took a step back. His eyes scanned Darren's face in disbelief. The sudden change of attitude was something he'd come to know and love him for, the temperamental chameleon part of his nature was sometimes a clear definition of who he was. But delivered with such harshness and anger it was hard to take.

Those eyes were glowing with a hint of silver blue, fierce defenses lying in wait among the swirling hypnotic vortex, guarding his soul. The colour drastically tainted with a touch of bright tears. As Daniel watched he realized that the emotion he had incorrectly misread as anger was most probably in fact hurt. Indescribable pain and it made him ache to see his ex-lover this way.

"Daz, I didn't mean...I should have called first, or something..."
"Yeah, you're right, you should have," Darren's voice now resembled a primal growl. He sniffed again, attempting to hide the tears pooling in the corners of his eyes. "Can you leave?"
"Darren, I know you're upset. But really, I was only asking a question. I meant no harm by it." Daniel's voice was gentle.

Darren winced as though the tears stung. "I think you already knew the answer," he replied bitterly. "Can you go?" He repeated.
"I don't think we're finished yet," Daniel replied.
"We definitely are," retorted Darren.
Now it was Daniel's turn to get upset. He could feel the tears sourcing in his own eyes and it made him angry. "Why are you acting like this?"
"Why am I acting like this?" Darren threw his hands up in the air. "You turn up out of nowhere after all this time and you just expect me to deal? There are certain things I can't handle."
Daniel stared. "Darren, I'm confused."
"You're confused?!" scoffed Darren. "What about me?" He paused. "I thought you didn't want to speak to me anymore, at least not properly. You made that pretty clear after the split."

The split. The two words stabbed at Daniel's heart like a knife, that double meaning that both he and Darren knew. The split of the band, or the other meaning?
"So that's what this is about," Daniel's realization formed itself into words. "After all this time you're still holding grudges."
"I think I have a right to!!" Darren's voice raised dangerously high in volume.
Daniel shook his head again disbelievingly. "It was you who said we should end it, remember?"
"After you decided to leave Savage Garden!!" Darren noticed the deafening tone of his voice and lowered it accordingly. "You really expected us to stay together after that?"
"Because I wouldn't do what you wanted to do?" hissed Daniel. "You're so bloody childish, Darren."
"You knew we couldn't stay together, not with me going solo," remarked Darren. "What would have been the point?"
"Why are you starting all this now?" whispered Daniel darkly. "You've never mentioned it since it happened, not once."
"Neither have you," there was a bitter edge creeping in to Darren's words.
"I didn't think there was any need to."

"Of course you didn't. You left me in the lurch and everything was perfectly convenient - for you." Darren paused but continued before there was too much of a silence. "Well let me tell you something, Daniel. With us, it was nothing. It was a fling. I was upset over Colby and you comforted me, but I've moved on."
"Darren, we were together a year!!" Daniel almost exploded. "That's not a fling!!"
"It was to me," Darren's gaze dropped to the floor and his words degraded to a whisper.
"You liar!!" Daniel growled. The tears welled and they began to fall. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, not wanting to succumb to the pitiful image of a grown man crying. He failed. "You're lying. I can see it in your eyes."

"You see nothing!!" Darren shot back angrily. "Don't tell me what I'm feeling. I'm the only one who knows that." He breathed heavily. "I'm different now."
"Darren, just because you stopped dying your hair doesn't make you a different person," Daniel pointed out. "It doesn't mean you turned over a new leaf. You changed your image. That's all. You didn't change your heart."
"I moved on. I suggest you do the same."
Daniel scowled. "If you've moved on, why are you so damn angry? Why are you so upset to see me? You can't just brush me off with a single look."
"I can and I will," Darren breezed. "I thought I told you to go."
"I'm staying here." Daniel stood his ground.
"OK, then I'll go," Darren began to make for the door.

"Wait." Daniel's voice struck a chord and Darren found himself stopping as he reached for the door handle. It took a lot for Daniel to summon the courage but he spoke his mind. "I don't want to part on bad terms."
"Too late, we already did," said Darren, not impressed. He hooked his hand into the door handle and pushed it, swinging the door open, to where Leonie was standing outside, obviously having heard most or all of the conversation that had gone on minutes before within the room. When she caught sight of Daniel she looked upon him with an expression close to disgust.
"Don't look at me like that, Leonie," Daniel said evenly, glaring at her.
"She can look at you how she wants," Darren jumped into the defense. "I'm going now." He walked off and Leonie followed, taking a glance back at Daniel and shaking her head. She put an arm comfortingly on Darren's shoulder as they walked but he shrugged her off.
Daniel was soon hot on their heels, pulling on the back of Darren's T-shirt. Darren resented that treatment and he whipped round with a death stare on his face.

"Don't you dare walk away from me," Daniel warned.
"He can do what he likes," Leonie cut in.
"Nobody asked you," He hissed venomously.
"Daniel," said Darren just as warningly.
"Come on Darren, you know she hates me."
"No one ever said that," Darren's eyes were hurt.
"I think I get the message," shrugged Daniel. Leonie didn't counter his assumption, merely stood back, gaze even.
Daniel looked imploringly at Leonie. "Can you leave us alone, just for a second?" His voice was almost pleading.
Swayed by his tone, Leonie glanced to Darren, eyes questioning.
"I think we've said all we need to say," Darren acknowledged quietly.
"Maybe you have, but I haven't," snarled Daniel.

"I have to go," explained Darren. He spoke more softly now, using his busy schedule less as an excuse but just an obstacle. He turned on his heel.
"Darren." Daniel expected him to look back, but he didn't. He did stop. He waited.
Leonie watched. "Please tell me one thing," Daniel continued.
"What?" Darren stayed, back facing him.
"That song. Was it really about Colby?" He swallowed. "Was it just about Colby? Tell me the truth."
Darren stared into space, then closed his eyes. "The truth?" He let out a long-suffering breath. "No," he said. "No, it wasn't just about her."
Darren began to walk, Leonie mirroring his actions and tracing his steps alongside him.
"Darren?" Daniel called out after him.
"Yeah." Darren kept walking but responded.

"I love you."

Darren's body went rigid, stock-still. Leonie looked back half-accusingly at Daniel, but she didn't say a word. Her eyes went straight back to Darren as he spoke without a second look at Daniel. "I know."
Then he released a sigh and walked out to the waiting car with Leonie, leaving Daniel awash in self-pity.