Could I Let You Go? by LQ

He does love him. I can see it as can the rest of the fans. In a way I guess I should be jealous...feel threatened. But I'm not. I can't. How could I? Daniel loves me. The love for Darren is there too. Have they slept together? Hmm...possibly. No matter. If right this second Daniel told me that as much as he loved me he would be happier with Darren then...oh gods it hurts to even THINK about that...I hope I would have the strength to let him go.

Funny I should say that right? Most people probably think I'd do something, anything to keep him. Well I don't think I would. I love Daniel. With all my heart and soul. His happiness means more to me then mine and if he would be happiest with Darren...

Daniel is sitting right next to me and as I glance over at him thoughts run through my mind. Does he love Darren? Yes. Does he love me? Yes. Does he love Darren more then me? I do not know. Do I love him more then anything in the world? Yes.

All I want is for Daniel to be happy. Will it hurt if I lose him? Gods yes. Do I want to? No, never, I want to be with him always. Do I want him to be happy? Forever. Can I make him happy? I pray I can and do.

Over and over the same questions run through my mind. Finally I reach over and touch his shoulder, smiling at him. The smile he returns to me is so bright, so full of love I am filled with joy. I want him to feel this same joy he has brought to me. I want a smile to be able to make all his troubles just melt away. I want it to be MY smile that does it.

The final question, the one I dread answering most surfaces again. Could I give him up to Darren, or anyone else who made him feel, the way he makes me feel? I hope I could.