Music has always spoken to me. Since I was a kid, there was something about an instrumental piece that would start running words through my head, urging me to complete a song.

Even though I was used to the words, I was completely blown away by the way that Savage spoke to me. He was a mysterious guitarist, famous all over the world for his incredible talent. His guitar whispered in my ear, 'Darren, sing for me.' So I did.

I put my words to his music, making it whole and complete, entwining my feelings with his. I *felt* his guitar more than I heard it, and it always went straight to my gut. Of course, so did his photos. There were never any good, clear shots of him without some elaborate costume or makeup; his real identity was a close-kept secret in the industry. I tried not to mind, and I plastered my flat's walls with his image.

It was kind of sad, my obsession with him. He only had one album out, not enough to ensure his musical career, no matter how good he was. He didn't do interviews, live shows, photo shoots, or any of those nice things that made a pop star get noticed. I scoured magazines and music stores for something, anything about him I could get.

He seemed like the kind of bloke that would treat his girl well. Girl. Not some poor boy hooker he picked up off the sidewalk. All the same, I dreamed of finding someone like him, someone who would love me as much as I could love him.

So at night I went to a local, seedy little pub where the owner was one of my old customers. There I could get up on the stage and pour out my soul to the lonely music of a solo-guitarist that no one knew anything about. I knew something, though. I knew that his music was his soul, just like my lyrics were mine.

Out on a stage was where I could be a star. I could pretend for three minutes that I didn't make my living as a hooker. I could be the media darling, the pop diva, the rock god, anything the music let me be in front of all those gawking drunks in the Tavern.

//Calm, Daz.// Last check in the mirror. //As if it matters to them.//

"Show time, kid."

//Time to throw my soul out to the dogs.//

So I went up on the stage, dressed in black like always, clothes to match my hair and my mood, and I waited for the familiar strains of 'Universe' to play.

//Deep breath, Daz. Forget they're here.//

This was the song that always seemed like Savage was playing in my soul. The images I got in my head when it played were probably far from what the guitarist had intended to evoke, so much more sensual, but I couldn't ignore the sultry chords striking my heart.

I started to sing.

"Well, I'd like to take you as I find you
Imagine our clothes are on the floor.
Feel my caress, so soft and gentle,
So delicate you cry for more..."

I scanned the crowd a little during the first verse, wondering if anyone cared, or even noticed, that I was up there.

//They never cared before, so why should they start now?//

Past the glare of the orange light in my eyes, I thought I saw one bloke at the bar watching, but the music caught me and took my attention away.

"Universe inside of your heart, you gotta let me know so you can be free, baby
You wanted it so much, and, now that it's over, you don't know what you want
Well let me tell ya that
This time, I'm gonna make you mine
I won't let you go, 'cos I know this time
I'm gonna make sure I look out for me"

I always loved that part, right after the second chorus. It was like a summary of every relationship I'd been in since high school. I would go and fall in love with some boy, get my heart stomped on, and tell myself that I wouldn't let it happen again. But it inevitably did.

I guess that's why I ended up being a hooker.

You don't have time to fall in love with anybody. They don't even want to look at you when they pay, so your heart doesn't go all soft.

I finished the song, mumbled a 'thank you' into the mic, and left the spotlight. I stepped into the dressing room and found David, the pub owner, waiting for me. //Damn. Why does he always have to be here at the exact wrong time?//

"Nice job, tonight, boy. Pulled in a few more customers than last week."

//Like it matters.// "Yeah, well, you'd know about customers, wouldn't you?"

David's aging face made a ragged attempt at a leer. "So do you, boy. Maybe I should start bein' one of your regulars again."

//Please, God, no. I think I'll die if I have to go down for him again.// "Goodbye, David." I turned to leave, and he grabbed my ass like he owned it. In a way, I suppose he did.

I shook his hand off and left, heading down Wembley Road to the Plaza. I used to work here, legitimate work. I was a clerk at Woody's when it was still a music store, a place where people could go and hang around with friends after school. That was long before it became the haven of pretty-boy prostitutes. Now, my work is substantially less wholesome.

I thought for a minute that I heard someone following me, but I shrugged it away. Getting paranoid isn't good for business. I just continued walking to the Plaza.

Pimps, dealers, junkies, hookers, and clients were all over the place. If you had a vice, you could feed it here. There were women, men, drugs. Anything could be had for the right price. Including me.

I stopped under the red neon sign for Woody's, hit by a slight pang of guilt and nostalgia. Ignoring it like always, I tossed my jacket down next to me and settled in to wait.


~Chapter Two - The Right Kind of Pilot~

I  didn't have to wait long for a john that night. I noticed him right off, all blond hair and green eyes, nervous as hell. I think I saw him at the bar while I was singing. //Guess someone *was* following me.//

This one was pretty nice-looking. Pretty nice, hell, he was goddamned gorgeous. Dressed good, too, but I'd learned a long time ago that that didn't mean a lot. This was the kind of guy I'd always thought maybe I could be with for a long time, if he was nice. Good men are hard to find, and even harder to keep. Something always happens and they either leave you or try to kill you.

He didn't seem like he'd do either, with a nice girl. //He's probably just horny 'cause he lost his girl and just needs a good lay.//

//Way to be down on yourself, Daz.//

He looked kinda flighty for a minute, but then he started to walk over. I knew he was headed for me. My smile was practiced, a little naughty, and he was hooked.

//Gotcha.//

He fidgeted around for a minute, then opened his mouth. "Can we talk?"

"Baby, we can do anything you like." //Anything for you, handsome.// I gave him a meaningful look, grabbed my jacket, and started for my spot. He didn't follow, so I turned back. "You coming?" //Come on, sweetheart...//

He damn near ran to catch up with me.


~Chapter Three - All That You Need~

We walked for a bit to my place, a stock-loading area that afforded privacy for my transactions, and I was thinking that this wouldn't be a bad deal. He was clean, and I would've bet a week's pay that he had a fucking gorgeous cock.

//He has the same color hair as Savage. So shiny and soft-looking...God, I promise I'll be good tomorrow if I can just have my dream for one night.//

So there we were, kind of swaying in the breeze, and I realized that he must've been more nervous than I'd thought. He looked really uncomfortable. I could fix that, easy, maybe even pretend for a while that I meant a little more to him than a corner whore.

"It's all right, babe. I won't bite," I murmured. I leaned against the wall in my best alluring pose, and I swear I could almost hear his heartbeat shoot up.

He wanted me bad, I could tell, but he was trying to stop it. //He wants to, so why won't he?//

Finally, he closed some of the distance between us and spoke. "Listen, I just wanted to..."

I couldn't take it anymore. He was too beautiful, and I wanted one night where I could make-believe that someone like this could want me as a person, not as an object. I grabbed his head and plastered my mouth to his. He wasn't responding, but I didn't care, I just put one hand behind his neck and slid the other down to his fly. When he opened his mouth, I shoved my tongue into it before he could say something and ruin my fantasy.

Finally, *finally* he quit fighting himself and started kissing me back.

//Oh, heaven.//

The tension melted out of him, sending him flowing into me, his arms going around my waist. I turned us around and pushed him against the wall, stroking his cock through his pants. His moan of pleasure was so sexy it made me dizzy.

//I want more. I *need* more.//
"How do you want it?" I whispered, out of breath. "Rough? Or gentle?" I started kissing his neck, tasting the salt of his sweat. Delicious.

After a minute, I realized he hadn't said anything, so I pulled back to look at him. And damn near forgot what I was doing when I looked in those green, green eyes. He was panting, eyes unfocused, looking so unsure I wanted to bundle him up and protect him from the world.

Then it occured to me.

"This is your first time, isn't it." //Of course it is, stupid.// I mentally kicked myself for stating the obvious like a simpleton.

Still, he nodded slightly, shyly. My fantasy was getting better by the minute. This treasure was mine and only mine. I would be his first male lover.

"Well, then, I probably know what you want better than you do. Want to leave it up to me?" Of course he would, and I would make sure he had nothing to regret. He nodded again.

//I have to make it perfect for him.//

I kissed him and pulled his shirt out of his pants, one hand still over his fly. He pulled his mouth away from mine like he had something important to say, but all that came out was a disoriented, "What's your name?" I stopped and looked at him, curious.

Most customers don't even care enough to ask. Maybe...maybe he *was* the guy from my fantasy, my gift for just one night.

//Oh, thank you, God...//

I let out a breath and went back to trying to get his pants off. "Darren." A hungry kiss. "And you are?"

He was confused for a moment, trying to remember. It was cute.

"Daniel," he finally said.

"Daniel." I said it as I undid the last button on his jeans. I slipped a hand inside to touch him, loving his little gasp. "Well, Daniel...it's a pleasure."

He just groaned.

//A pleasure, indeed.//


~Chapter Four - Let Your Body Move~

I had my hand wrap around his cock, stroking him off slowly. I kissed his neck up to his jaw, reveling in the little sounds he was making. When my lips made their way back to his, he clutched at my back and locked himself against my body like he never wanted to let go. //If only.//

His tongue pushed into my mouth, and I accepted it readily, mine moving in an erotic dance with his. I tightened my grip on him; he went a little woozy, I think, and I smiled on the inside.

"How much?" He practically growled it at me, but, even though the rough tone was indescribably sexy, it dampened the mood of my fantasy. //Damn. Why couldn't he have waited?// I tried not to let my shattered illusion show and gave him a stock look of veiled victory, then licked my lips. He wasn't going anywhere, now. I ran my tongue over his lips.

"One hundred, but I'm worth it, baby." I kissed his mouth, his jaw, his throat. "That's all inclusive..." My hand sped up, and I was pressing myself against him, our eyes locked. He couldn't say no. "Deal?"

He groaned a bit and nodded his agreement. I flashed a brief, circumspect smile. "A hundred. That's hands or mouth, Daniel. What do you want?"

Again, no verbal answer as I changed the rhythm of my hand, but his hand on my shoulder, exerting the slightest downward pressure as I unbuttoned his shirt, told me exactly what he wanted.

"Oh, yeah, I know you want this," I practically purred against his skin. //I
know I want this, too.//

I needed to taste every inch of my dream lover's flesh, and I did, going oh, so slowly down his bared chest. His nipples, peaked with desire and the slight chill of the air, beckoned. I let my tongue dart out to flick over one. It should be a crime for anyone to taste that incredible.

Lower, lower, my tongue tracing a circle around his adorable navel. Finally,
I reached the place where we both wanted me to be. //Gorgeous. He is
abso-fucking-lutely gorgeous.//

I almost thought he would faint when I first got his cock in my mouth. Actually, I almost thought *I* would faint when I first got his cock in my mouth. God, it was good.

My fantasy was off and running. Somewhere in my fevered imagination, I was sure that this was an act of love between two souls, that Daniel could read my desires as well as I could read his. He wasn't going to last long, but I drew out the torture as long as I dared before setting a deep rhythm guaranteed to bring him off. I couldn't take my eyes off his face, knowing that that exquisite vision could warm me and sustain me even on the coldest day in Hell. His green eyes, pupils dilated to huge black pools, locked with my blue ones as he bucked against me and exploded.

I swallowed all that he gave me, relishing the flavor.

Everything was perfect.


~Chapter Five - Can't Remember a Time~

God, he was shaking after that. I still had my hands on his hips, and I'm pretty sure that the wall was the only thing keeping him standing.

Reality came back to me, unfortunately, as I recalled where we were. I kissed his stomach and started to stand up, putting his clothes back to rights and fastening his pants again. When we were face to face again, he leaned in and kissed me in a relaxed, sleepy way. It was a lovely ending to my fantasy, and I would hold this gift close to my heart. I pulled away from him, overcome with sudden, uncharacteristic shyness.

We just stood there, Daniel's hands on my hips, me trying to reconcile reality with my imagination. I couldn't look him in the eye. If I did, I knew it would shatter everything. He couldn't possibly be looking at me tenderly like a lover would, why would he want to?

I had to speak up before he could say anything terrible.

"So..." My eyes flicked down, then back up to his, pleading, hoping desperately that I wouldn't actually have to ask for the money outright.

//Just say it.// "You know what I'm getting at, right?"

He looked for a minute like he didn't understand.

//Oh, please let me die right now...//

Finally he ended my torture and reached for his wallet. My knees went a little weak.

//I'm never gonna see him again.// The realization hit me between the eyes with simultaneous relief and distress. //I only asked for one night. I can't remember a time when God ever listened to me before, so why should I get a whole night now?//

I watched him pull out my pay, and a good bit more. //Good tipper.// I immediately squashed the sarcastic voice in my brain and reached out to take the money from him. He handed it to me kind of hesitantly, and I almost thought he wanted to stay with me. Just as I started to pull the bills out of his hand, he caught them.

//What the hell is he doing?//

"Wait..."

He looked like he didn't know how to say whatever it was that he wanted to say.

"How much for the night?"

//Oh, God...Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou.//

"I mean...can we...go somewhere?"

//Oh, hell yes.//

My mouth was open, I'm sure, and my eyes were huge. The message couldn't get from my brain to my mouth - I wanted to shout 'yes!' and ravage him again. But no one had ever asked me that before. I didn't know how to react at all, so I just stood there in shocked silence.

"It's okay... You probably don't do that, huh? Sorry...just forget I asked."

He let go of the money and tried to back up into the wall. I finally found my brain and flashed him a weird little smile.

"No, it's not that. No one's ever asked me that before." His eyes widened a little when I said it.

"You're kidding."

"No, they usually don't even want to look at me after they come." I tried to smile to show him it didn't bother me, but I could tell it wasn't working.

He caressed my cheek as if he were afraid I would break, and there was a look in his eye that I didn't dare to put a name to.

"They have no idea," he whispered.

"No idea what?"

"No idea what they're turning their backs on." His fingers slid through my hair, and I turned my face into that infinitely gentle touch. "Please...One night, I don't care what it'll cost, I'll pay it."

I pretended to think about for all of a second. //One whole night. It'll be soooo good, tomorrow, God...//

"A thousand." My eyes dared him to argue with me. He said he would pay it, and I knew he would agree to my price.

He didn't hesitate. "Done."

His mouth was crushing mine before I could even respond. It was like he couldn't get enough of me, was trying to devour me whole. I couldn't have cared less if he had, it was just too damn good. When he started feeling me up under my shirt, though, I realized that we should go somewhere. Anywhere but here, where I brought all those men before, the ones who didn't give a fuck about me.

He was different, special.

Mine.

I pulled back and waited for him to stop. He had a cute confused look on his face, and I gave him my killer saucy grin. "Are we gonna stay here all night?"


~Chapter Six - 'Til You See the Dawn~

We ended up at some generic motel a few blocks from the Plaza. I still can't remember the name of it, but does it really matter? It was decent, almost a little respectable-looking, and it had a nice bed.

Beyond that, I didn't give a rat's arse as long as Daniel was there.

He dragged me into the room like a man with a mission. His hands were everywhere, and so were mine; we couldn't touch each other enough. He started undressing me, oh, so slowly. When I unbuttoned his shirt and yanked it off, he practically ripped the rest of my clothes off, picked me up, and tossed me on the bed. He was on it a split-second later, our bodies pressing together urgently.

Then he pulled back and gave me this *look*. His touches became slower, gentler, so tender I wanted to cry. As it was, I was trembling madly against him.

It was like he knew what I wanted before I did. And, damn, but he was good at giving it to me. Somehow he knew exactly where to touch me to make me feel good, and I couldn't stop moaning. His kisses went straight to my soul.

//So perfect...I've never felt like this before.//

When Daniel's mouth started moving down my chest, I reached for him, needing his lips back on mine. He worshipped my body with his, pushing my hands away. I stifled a moan of frustration. He pushed me back on the mattress and took the aggressive role, quite well, really.

My head dropped back, and I moaned when I felt his mouth on me. //So good. I can't be his first - he has to have done this before.// I tangled my hands in his hair, desperate to keep him there. For all the head jobs I'd given in my life, I had very limited experience in getting them, and I hoped it wasn't too obvious.

He touched me all over while he sucked me off. I was quickly getting beyond the point of caring whether he was gentle or not, I just wanted to keep that glorious feeling.

He was incredibly good at this. I was having a very hard time remembering that he had told me he'd never been with a man before, but it didn't matter whether he'd been with one or a hundred, just that he was here, with me, now.

Finally, he did something inventive that completely blew me away. My hips bucked, my hands clenched in his hair, and I moaned loud enough that the cars passing the motel ought to have been able to hear it as I came.

//Ohgodohgodohgodohgod...Daniel!//

When it was over, he slid back up and let me snuggle against him; it was one of the happiest moments of my life. I was smiling in a dopey, dreamy way, and his arms went around me. I kissed my dream lover's neck and sighed in utter contentment.

"That was lovely..."

Did I say I never had time to fall in love? I was wrong. I was most definitely falling for Daniel.

"No kidding."

He sounded a bit off.

"No kidding, Daniel. You are quite the master."

He shifted a little. "Shouldn't I be saying that to you? I mean, you've had far more practice."

I knew he didn't mean for it to sound like that, but it cut me all the same. I sat up and turned my face away so he couldn't see my eyes get a bit watery.

"I didn't mean..."

//I know you didn't, Dan.// "I know you didn't. I'm sorry, I'm not...used to this." I dared to look at him. "It's usually a lot more... impersonal. It's easier that way... It's silly, I know."

We were both quiet for an endless moment.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, I'm fine, really." I tried to smile like I meant it, but he wasn't fooled.

He reached out and took me in his arms again, hands stroking down my arms tenderly. We just lay there for a while, quiet and warm. I never understood what made me do it, but for some reason I started talking.

It was just sort of an aimless autobiography, sketching out a rough summary of my life for him.

I told him ordinary things, and things that not many people knew. I talked about working at Woody's before it became what it is now, about how I was tortured in high school for liking boys, but the same boys who tormented me came begging for blow jobs behind the school dances. I told him how music was everything to me, writing the lyrics to expose my soul.

He listened intently. I know I scared him a few times with some of the stories about what I'd been through, but I didn't care about those things while I was in his arms.

In the morning we woke up and dressed in an awkward silence. He paid me, and I had to force myself not to beg him to keep me. I didn't want to leave, but heaven had given me my one night, and it was over. We parted ways, Daniel taking my heart with him when he drove off.

//I'm not going to see him again.//

I sat down on the sidewalk and cried.

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