Late at Night by Stina

Two o'clock in the morning. The red numbers on the digital clock changed every minute, not going faster, not going slower, no matter if Daniel watched them or not.

He could not sleep. No special reason, he just could not sleep tonight. It had been a hard day in the studio, working on the new single of the band he produced now, two interviews and some office work. Nothing extraordinary.

He turned over. Maybe it was better lying on the left side.

Half an hour later.

No. Nothing.

Daniel glanced at the clock again. Don't think about that you can't fall asleep, it only makes things worse. Think about something else.

His new car. He would get it in two weeks. Two weeks means fourteen days. Fourteen days were how many hours? No, this was boring.

Counting sheeps. Maybe he should try to count sheeps.

What time is it now in San Francisco. He smiled. Now he had something to distract him from thinking about his sleeplessness. Hmmm...

He got up and took his agenda from his desk, cuddled up in bed again. Time zones... Ah, here. Hey, around 8:30 in the morning. Yesterday. Funny thought. It was still yesterday in San Francisco. He would never understand this....

He reached for the telephone. It had been quite a while since he had spoken to Darren. They both had been so busy...

He dialled his number, waited. Waited.

The smile of anticipation he had on his lips died. No one at home. Maybe he was in the studio, too...

He was surprised how disappointed he was. It would have been nice to talk to Darren. He had the feeling that now that they rarely heard of each other anymore, that their friendship had cooled down a bit.

The last tour had been exhausting, and maybe after all these years it was good to take a break.

But he had to admit that he missed him.

Daniel rolled his eyes. Why didn't he try out Darren's mobile phone. And if he was busy, maybe they could arrange another time to call.

Next number.

Ringing tone. Once. Twice. Please...

"Yeah?"

"Darren?"

"Yeah, what?"

"It's me, Daniel..."

"Daniel? What..." A deep sigh. "Do you have any idea what time it is?"

Daniel was puzzled. "No.. I mean, yes, of course, here it is 02:30 in the night..."

Another deep sigh. "Same here."

"Where are you?"

"Sydney... I'm in Sydney..."

"Oh my God, Darren, I'm sorry, I thought you were in San Francisco... What are you doing in... No, I can call you later if you want, okay? I'm so sorry I woke you up. Good night."

"No, no.. You did not know." He laughed sleepily. "My fault. I wanted to call you and tell you I was coming over to Australia, but somehow... You know, the work..."

Daniel felt a sudden stitch of disappointment. Work or no work, he would have expected....

"Yes, of course. I have so much work, too..."

"Daniel, so why are you calling me up in the middle of the night? Did something happen?"

Suddenly Daniel felt very stupid.

"No... I just... You know, I could not sleep and thought, over there where you are, or where I thought you are, it is morning and maybe we could talk a bit... But, really, I can call later..."

Darren laughed. "No, I'm awake now. Good idea. We did not talk much the last time."

"Yeah, that's what I thought, too."

"So, how's your project going?"

"Oh, fine, just fine. And your solo record?"

"Oh, fine, too. I flew to Sydney on Monday to do some remixes. Will fly back to San Francisco next week."

Daniel felt a bit cold sitting on the bed and lay down, cuddled up underneath the covers. "Darren..."

"Yes, Dan?"

"Do you... I mean... For me it still feels strange to work without you."

Silence.

"Yeah, for me, too, Dan. I... Sometimes I miss you."

Daniel smiled. "I miss you, too."

He turned down the light, enjoying just lying there in the dark and listening to Darren's voice.

"I was so used to having you around, to ask you when decisions are to be made.. It's a bit scary to decide everything alone..."

Darren grinned. "I even miss your cigarette smoke. No one smokes over there."

Daniel laughed. "I even miss you hugging me all the time, when coming to the studio or leaving in the evening. No one hugs me here."

Darren let out a theatrical sound of sorrow. "Aaargh, poor Danny... No one hugs him..."

He paused.

"You really liked that? I was never sure about that. I mean... You are not so... So... I mean, you don't hug everyone and everywhere and sometimes I thought it felt uncomfortable for you."

Daniel raised his eyebrows in the dark. "You never asked! But no, it was okay."

He smiled. "Although... I mean, I know you just do this, it's.. You are like this, but my mother once said..."

Darren laughed. "What did she say?"

"Oh no, forget it, this is stupid."

"Tell me..."

Daniel blushed. "Nothing... Okay, she once said that she thought... Well, she thought you are..."

He smiled. "That you are in love with me."

Silence.

He heard Darren breathing close to the phone.

"Darren? I'm sorry. I never wanted to tell you. It was silly. Forget it, okay?"

Then he heard Darren's voice. Very... cautious.

"And... What did you think?"

"Me?"

"Yeah... You... Did you also think I was... in love with you?"

It was a strange situation. Lying there in the dark. Suddenly talking about things they never talked about before.

Daniel swallowed.

"No... Well, maybe... Yeah, once... I don't know, one evening... You... The way you looked at me..."

Silence.

Daniel snuggled deeper into the warm bed. He felt cosy and comfortable. With lying here, and, strangely enough, also with the conversation.

"Were you...?"

He did not push Darren to answer. He just lay there and waited.

A deep sigh.

"Yeah, a bit, I think..."

Daniel could hear Darren breathe so close to his ear as if he was lying beside him.

"Danny?"

"Yeah?"

"Shocked?"

"Mmm... No..."

"Really?"

"No... You... Never told me..."

"Oh, no... I mean... I could feel that... That you don't love me. So I thought it was better... Not to let you know..."

Silence.

Daniel pulled the cover of the bed over his head. Even the bedroom was now too much space around him, as if the air and the room would listen. He wanted to be alone with the phone, with Darren.

"Dazza?"

"Yes..?"

Daniel heard a slight hint of fear in Darren's voice. Because he knew what Daniel would ask now.

"Are you... Are you... still.. in love with me?"

Sometimes seconds seem to last minutes, but Darren did not speak for such a long time that Daniel would have feared he had hung up the phone, if he had not heard him breathing.

He even heard Darren open his lips now, trying to find words.

A soft whisper.

"Yes..."

"I... thought it would fade away if we don't see each other. And I thought it worked... Until you called...."

A deep sigh.

"I should not have told you, I'm sorry."

Silence.

"Danny?"

"Yes..."

"Please... Say something..."

"I... I don't know..."

"I should not have told you, I did not want to make you feel uncomfortable, I am sorry..."

"Special."

"What?"

"I don't know how to say it... I feel... special... and... honoured that you... are in love with me..."

"Honestly?"

"Yes... I don't feel uncomfortable, I just wish you would have told me... earlier..."

And it was the truth. It was a nice, warm feeling deep down in his stomach to know... Darren loved him...

But they were both leading their own lives now.

Far away from each other.

Too late.

"Danny, if I told you earlier... Do you think..."

"I don't know, Daz..."

Silence.

"It's too late, Danny... My fault..."

"Darren..."

"Maybe it is better if we... don't see each other until I fly back to San Francisco..."

"Okay..."

"Danny... It's better if I... hang up now, okay?"

A strange, faint sound.

"Darren... Are you... crying?"

"No, Danny. Good night, okay?"

"Good night, Daz."

It was now too warm under the bed cover, and he needed fresh air, but Daniel just wanted to stay there. His eyes were wide open and he wiped away something wet and noticed that he was crying. Crying, too.

Crying for a love he lost that he never had.

* * *

3:30 in the night.

Darren had lay there staring in the dark, hugging the pillow tight. Why had he done this. Why had he told Daniel. He had ruined everything.

"Beep. Beep."

His mobile phone. The green light was flashing and it was ringing.

Slowly he reached out his hand.

"Darren?"

"Danny... I..."

"Darren, there's a flight from Brisbane to Sydney at 6:00 a.m. Arrives at 7:30 a.m."

"Danny..."

"I want to see you, Darren. I want to talk to you. If you want me to come."

Silence. Then a sob, and a voice, full of desperation and need.

"Oh Danny, yes, please, come..."

"Okay..." Daniel tried to keep his voice calm, but the excitement and joy was clearly audible. "Where are you..."

Darren pressed his hand to his mouth. He was sitting in the bed now. No, this can't be true.

"I'll wait for you at the airport. I... I'll get dressed now and then I'll drive to the airport."

Daniel giggled like a child. "Daz, it is in the middle of the night, you have four hours until I arrive..."

"I don't care, then I will wait four hours. Or six. Or eight. I'll just sit there and wait for you. You will really come, Daniel? You won't change your mind, won't you?"

"No, I won't, I promise..."

"But what if the plane is booked up and you won't get a seat..."

"It is not, Darren. I already booked."

"Oh God, Danny..."

"Daz, I'll hang up now. I..."

"Danny?"

"Yes?"

"When you arrive... May I... May I hug you?"

"You don't have to ask, Dazza. Yes. Yes, please. And, Dazza..."

"Yes?"

"You said, it's too late."

"I... I know..."

"I don't think it's too late. I would say it's too early. Please, give me time."

"I will, Danny. All the time in the world."

* * *

The voices, the speakers, the humming, people hurrying to get their planes. Kids screaming, people rushing.

They did not see and hear them. Like on a small island in the middle of a sea of people they were standing there.

Holding each other tight.