There are things in life that you never know you miss until they're gone. Little things, mostly... Things that leave a small hollow in your heart and make life feel a little empty without them... Past memories, past places, past dreams. Then there are the bigger things. The things that, once gone, leave you feeling completely void. Like your soul has been ripped from your body; like a darkness has wrapped itself around you and is attempting to engulf you, suffocate you; like your heart has turned to ice and will never lose that numbness.

That is what losing you did to me...

My days are no different from my nights. No less black, no less lonely. My world is nothing but night. There are times when I can't seem to find the strength to go on. There are times when I look in the mirror and wonder how the hell exactly that I am still alive. Then I wonder just why haven't I ended it all yet.

I know why. I'm not that strong...

Where there's life, there's hope, right? That's what I tell myself everyday. It is what will eventually get me up and going. It is what barely sustains me for now because as long as I still breathe, I can still hope. I can still hope that someday you will come to your senses. I can pray that someday you will cast your fears aside and realize that we are right for each other.

I know that is why you ended us. You were afraid. You were afraid of loving too much, too fast, and losing everything that we've worked for. You were afraid of being hurt, so you got to me first. You needn't be afraid, lover. Not of me, not of us. Loving me would never hurt you. Loving me would never hurt me. Not like this... THIS is what hurts me.

I really should hate you, you know. I should hate every fiber in your body for putting me through this hell. Hell on earth, when heaven can only be found in your eyes... I can't hate you though. I could never hate you. So I, pathetic little me, will continue to love you. Through the pain, through the tears, I love you.

I just hope that when you do come back, there will be something left of me for you to love in return...