"We're decent people, but every now and again we feel like throwing a tantrum. Like, everywhere we go the record company sends us pastries. Why?

We don't ask for them. And there's fruit everywhere-you get a huge basket when youre only in the country for one day. There's even a pineapple in there.

I mean how do you consume a pineapple?!"

Humming softly to himself Darren juggled the bag he was carrying into his other arm and turned his key in the lock.

'Hi honey I'm home.' He called out cheerfully.

No response.

Oh well, shrugging his shoulders he walked through to the apartment's well-appointed kitchen.

Setting the bag of groceries down on the counter he set about opening various cupboards, fishing out three reasonably large bowls.

Lining them up he proceeded to fill them with all kinds of citrus fruits. Peaches, nectarines, oranges, plums and on top of one of them he placed his piece de resistance. A juicy looking pineapple.

Placing two sharp little knives in two of the bowls, he left the third in the kitchen and busied himself positioning the others. One on the right hand nightstand in the bedroom, the other on the low coffee table in the living room.

*****

'Hmmmmmmm, thank you babe that was delicious.' Daniel pushed his plate away and drained his glass of water. 'So what's for afters?'

'How about a nice fruit salad?' Darren offered.

'Nah, have we got any of that chocolate sorbet left?' Not waiting for an answer Dan got up and picking up their dirty plates headed off into the kitchen to investigate.

Sighing Darren followed him, watching as his other half routtled around in the freezer cabinet.

'Looks like we're all out.' He declared woefully, closing the door with a soft click. 'Want me to run down and pick some more up?'

'No it's ok, looks like it's going to have to be fruit salad after all.'

'None for me cheers.'

Dan stacked the dishwasher and then headed off in the direction of the living room leaving Darren peeling and chopping the fruit.

Making sure that he took two spoons with him Darren followed a short time later.

Dan was sitting on the sofa, feet up on the coffee table, TV remote in one hand cigarette in the other.

Darren inwardly groaned at the sight but ploughed on regardless. 'So anything good on?'

'There's a movie just about to start on Channel Five.'

'Cool.' Sitting himself down next to Daniel he half-heartedly began to pick at his dessert.

Dan noticed this and commented. 'Why did you do that if you didn't want it?'

'Why do you want some?' Darren asked a little too enthusiastically.

'No.' Daniel said stubbing out his butt and making himself comfortable by snuggling up against his lover.

Admitting defeat Darren placed the bowl on the table and turned his attention to the movie.

'What's with the fruit anyway?'

'Huh?'

'Well there's fruit in here,' Dan moved his foot to indicated the presentation on the table, 'fruit in the kitchen and fruit on my side of the bed in the bedroom.'

'You noticed?'

'Yeah, when I went in there to get dressed after my shower earlier. You on some new health kick?'

'No.' Darren said wearily. 'Just thought it would be nice.'

'Oh.'Was Dan's only answer as he pulled Darren's arms round his waist and rested his head on his shoulder.

*****

'Well that was a big pile of crap.'Daniel said flicking off the TV and slinging aside the remote.

'So why did we watch it?'

'Had to see how it ended.' Dan turned his head and grinned, reaching out for his pack of smokes.

'Dan do you have to?' Darren whined.

'What? These?' Daniel paused cigarettes in hand. 'It's never bothered you before. You feeling alright?' He placed the back of his hand to Darren's forehead, 'Hey you're not pregnant are you.'

'Arsehole.' Darren flung back.

'Ok,' Daniel sat himself up and took both of Darren's hands in his, 'suppose you tell me what is really going on here. First you fill the flat with fruit and now you're objecting to my smoking.'

Ashamedly Darren dropped his eyes.

'Hey, what's up Doze? Look at me.' Gently Daniel lifted Darren's chin to meet his gaze. 'You're beginning to worry me. Talk to me.'

'Promise me you won't think I'm weird.'

'You weird? Never.' Dan let out a soft chuckle, 'Eccentric maybe but no, not weird.'

'And that you won't be offended?'

'Offended? Why?'

Sighing Darren took a deep breath. 'It's just that...sometimes you don't taste so good baby.' There he had said it, embarrassed he lowered his eyes again.

'Don't taste so good? What when I kiss you?' Daniel was puzzled, what had brought this on? Darren had never mentioned it before.

'No...' Darren began slowly, 'not when you kiss me.' He shyly met Daniel's eyes, silently willing him to realise what he was on about so that he wouldn't have to spell it out.

'Oh you mean when....'

'Yes.' Darren said quietly. 'I'm sorry, please don't hate me, it's just those things,' and he nodded towards the half full ashtray. 'They make you taste...well...kinda bitter.'

Dan let out a deep laugh and pulled Darren to him. 'Well you know you taste different now too.'

'I do?'

'Yep, since you've been eating meat again, you taste, well kinda meaty I guess.'

'I taste meaty? Meaty? Thank goodness you don't write our lyrics Daniel Jones.'

'Well it's true.' Dan dropped a light kiss on top of Darren's head. 'It really bothers you that much eh?'

'No, no,' Darren was shocked, 'no it doesn't bother me, it's just...it's not very nice.' He said sheepishly.

'And you thought that the fruit would counteract it.' Daniel finished for him.

'Yes.' came a very small voice.

'Darren, Darren, Darren, what am I going to do with you?' Daniel ran his hands up and down the length of Darren's spine.

'Youre not angry?'

'No of course I'm not angry, but I wish you had told me sooner.' Releasing Darren he bent forward and picked out a peach from the overflowing bowl. Putting it to his mouth he took a large bite, the juice oozing out and running down his chin.

Giggling Darren reached out a finger and wiped away the escaping juices. Raising it to his lips he drew the finger in and out suggestively.

Taking another bite Daniel offered the fruit across. Grasping Dan's hand Darren took a bite of his own, flicking his tongue out to clean his chin.

Soon the flesh was all gone leaving only the stone which Dan tossed into his ashtray.

Picking up the pineapple and the knife he waggled them at Darren. 'What you say we move this into the bedroom?'

*****

'I never knew eating a pineapple could be so much fun.' Dan said as Darren fed him another piece emperor style.

'Mmmmmm.' Darren replied moving in to take the piece of sweet fruit from between Daniel's teeth with his own.

Removing the drained slice he leaned back in and captured his love's mouth in a long passionate kiss. Then breaking for air he picked up the pineapple and cut off two more slivers.

Laying back down he placed them on his bare stomach. 'Just a little more should do it I think.'

Smiling broadly Dan moved round and begun to lick at the sticky juices that were now tricking over Darren's body. Running his tongue over Darren's navel he began to ascend his chest, ignoring the fruit.

'Hey thats not the IDEA!' Darren exclaimed as Dan's questing tongue found his left nipple and started laving it.

Dan brought himself to lay over Darren, the pineapple slices ending up squashed between their bodies. 'You're right, he said lifting his head to kiss him. 'It does make things taste better. Care to test your theory elsewhere loverboy?' He whispered seductively.

'Nope.' Darren shook his head emphatically, laughing at Dan's bemused expression.

'No?'

'No. It needs time to enter your system. You won't be ready until the morning.' He said making Dan sound like a cake he was baking.

'Oh, well in that case I guess we'll just have to find another way to amuse ourselves tonight.' And reaching down he looped Darrens legs over his shoulders.

*****

The following morning

'Oh Doze, oh Darren, oh fuck, yes, yes, YES!' Daniel flung his sweat soaked head back against the pillows, his face shining, his eyes still closed in ecstasy.

'So what's the verdict then?' He asked when he finally had enough breath back in his lungs to do so.

'Oh yeah.' Darren licked his lips and glided up to lay beside him. 'See for yourself.' And he brought his lips to Daniels, his tongue snaking in to tangle with his sweet tasting lover's.

'Hmmm, I see your point.' Dan said dreamily, sucking on Darrens lower lip as he drew back. 'I think,' he said opening his eyes and gazing down into Darren's darkened ones, 'that you should make pineapple a permanent fixture on the shopping list from now on.'

'Don't worry,' Darren replied running his hand lazily over Daniel's chest, 'I fully intend to.'