|
So memories fade do they eh Jonesy? Well not this one. Not even after ten years.
I don't have to close my eyes to see you standing there in front of me; wearing that inanely infectious grin of yours, teasing me over some small thing. I don't have to be asleep to hear that beautiful Aussie-accented voice of yours.
No I can see you in a crowd, hear you in a packed room, but it's never you is it? Not anymore.
There was a time when we were closer than close even when we were miles apart. When one of us would call the other long distance just to say goodnight. When the mere sight of you was enough to send my body into overdrive.
I can feel the tears welling up behind my eyes as other memories come flooding into my mind. The memory of that night in London when we finally realised what we felt for each other. Of the heat of your skin naked next to mine. Of the way you used to scream my name as the world exploded around us.
Memories of what you tasted like as you came in my mouth, or how you smelt as I kissed my way up your chest.
Memories that will never fade, memories that I will always hold locked deep in my heart, along with a memory of the night I got a phone call telling me it was all over. That you were gone from my life forever. However much I may want to forget it that memory resolutely stays.
No memories don't fade, not these ones. Whatever happened our love was too strong for that.
Over the years other memories have joined them, my new marriage, the birth of my children. Oh Jonesy how I wish you could see my children, and Claire, I wish you could meet Claire, I know you two would hit it off. I love her, I really do. Not in the way you and I loved each other but in her own quiet way she understands this and for now that is enough. I am happy. I hope you are happy wherever you are. Do you ever think of me?
Theres a gentle tug on my sleeve and a small voice asks 'Dad? Dad, are you alright?'
Briskly I cuff away the falling tears. 'Yeah, Danny, I'm fine.'
Bending down I place a single white rose on the grave in front of me. It's what I've done every July 22nd for the last ten years and will continue to do for as long as there is breath in my body.
Taking his tiny hand in mine I turn to my son and smile. 'Come on let's go home.'
~finis~
back
|
