More Late Night Insanity

"Oh come on. That is NOT how you put it on."

Hands fumbling with a small package.

"Oh like you would know. You've never worn one of these damn things."

"What? Like it's my fault I prefer to not get myself into positions of having to wear them?"

"Well...you COULD take a more active role you know. Instead of letting me do all the work."

"Awww, quitcherbitching and give that to me."

A grab for the package which gets yanked away.

"No. I do NOT need your or anyone else's help. I can do this by myself. "

"Fine then. Let's see how well you do."

"Fine." More fumbling and the crinkling of plastic being opened.

Blinking and staring at the small rolled up bundle in his hand.

"How the hell..."

Laughing and smirking.

"Told you."

"Oh hush up! It can't be THAT difficult. Just slip it on and gently roll. Says so on the directions."

A bit more clumsy fumbling.

"You're going to rip it and THEN what are we going to do? You know once they rip the fun is over."

Grumbling.

"Come again?"

More grumbling.

Indignant pout.

"Oh really?! Well your mother wears combat boots!"

Silence.

Pouting.

More silence.

"What?"

Still more silence.

Rolled eyes.

"Just put the damn thing on already so we can get down to business."

A mock salute.

"Yes sir."

Another clumsy attempt and a frustrated sigh.

"I don't see WHY I have to wear this!!"

"You KNOW why. Here, let me help...hold...still!"

"Hey! Back off! I can do it.my.self...watch it! You'll rip it!"

"I.will...not...hold still!"

Struggling, cursing and finally an angry yelp.

"Look! I TOLD you to leave it alone! Now you did it!"

Two eyes looking down at the torn and now useless object.

"Where are we going to get another one at this time of night?"

"Ummm...the liquor store?"

An exasperated sigh and the sound of a hand smacking a forehead.

"Right...sure Daz...a liquor store."

"Well...you don't have to wear it..."

"Ummm...I kinda DO ya know."

"Well...we COULD try the liquor store..."

"Darren...tell me...WHAT liquor store would carry pantyhose?"

"A good one?"

Silence then a sigh.

"Guess I'll just have to find another costume."

"Awwww...and you would had looked so sexy as a French maid too."